I know arousal and physical responses might be different for different biological sexes- to make it clear I am coming from only my own point of view. Is there a difference between arousal (physical arousal/genital response) and sexual attraction/desire? -From merely a personal standpoint, I would assume so. In the past I have felt arousal for scenarios I had no interest in, and have also felt arousal, from touch, from a guy, without any desire to take it further sexually with him. Vice versa, I have also felt sexual attraction but no arousal, I have seen women's bodies and desired them or knew I wouldn't mind sleeping with them, but I didn't feel overt physical response. A little personal thing: I don't actually feel physical arousal that often, which is sometimes really confusing. But I do feel sexual attraction still- like I would see an attractive woman in a show or something and be like, man she's attractive and I wouldn't mind sleeping with her, or, wow she's hot I want to sleep with her. Is it because I actually get off quite often, and healthily, which is why I'm not super horny or aroused all the time? Or is it just my body? I honestly don't know. However, I'd like to hear other people's experience with this. I guess sexual attraction does of course overlap with arousal, but from my experience this isn't always the case. Eg, I used to be aroused by sexual fantasies which I had no interest in carrying out, and no attraction to the people within them. (I couldn't exactly differentiate that at the time though, but that's a different story) So I guess my questions are -can there be sexual attraction without arousal, or vice versa? What about your standpoint/experiences? And, at least for people of the same biological sex as I am, what does arousal necessarily mean/indicate? I know all of this can be vastly different for different people.
I am no expert but I certainly believe there is a difference. I have felt arousal in situations that were, (for lack of a better word) "exciting" with a guy. Although I had zero interest or intentions of doing anything with them, or actually following through. Or even following through and then feeling empty. But I have also felt sexual attraction and been like "MAN they are gorgeous" but I haven't like fantasized about it/gotten off to it, it's almost like a different type of sexual fulfillment or something. As a side note, there is also a lot of stuff (particularly in porn) that makes people very aroused but they have no interest in participating or ever making it a reality. This happens a lot with gay porn, actually! Many straight individuals find gay porn very arousing but they themselves are not gay. Anyway, that is just my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful in some way!
I think they're different. There can definitely be arousal without attraction -- for example, you could masturbate and get aroused and orgasm without thinking of anything at all but how good it feels. But sexual attraction, that takes someone, someone you feel drawn to. For example, I'm very often (basically all the time) sexually attracted to my girlfriend, but only aroused if we're talking or touching in a certain way, or if I'm actively thinking about sex with her. I definitely think either can exist without the other, and both can also exist together. And I basically agree with everything you said in your post. What does arousal mean? Um... That I want to get off, I guess. That I'm excited.
if you are gay and watch lesbian porn many times you will be aroused by the taboo aspect, seeing something revealing about someone, knowing it is kinky, seeing porn or anyone naked will cause some form of arousal, it just varies in strength. If you are gay the strength is extreme with gay sex/porn, the strength is low/vanishing if you are gay having straight sex/watching porn, but still there to some extent to the point where you probably want to orgasm to something. Just my opinion
Thanks for the replies! It's different for everyone I suppose, but it's nice to hear some insight Sometimes it's not too easy to recognize sexual attraction- I feel it sometimes, it's just that it doesn't always come hand in hand with arousal (and, vice versa, like in my first post), so most of the time I'm simply going, okay, what in the world am I feeling? I honestly don't know. It's hard to tell different types of attraction apart sometimes. I just know most of the time who I would be down to have sex with given an appropriate situation, and who I wouldn't be. That's about it. Still figuring that part out.
It absolutely is different, especially for women who are aroused by literally anything and everything sexual in existence, even the most disturbing and morally questionable fetishes will cause a vaginal reaction. It's just the way our body is made.
Yeah that makes sense. I've felt arousal for truly ridiculous things, and everything and anything in between before whether I truly wanted it or not and it was all very confusing. So I'm guessing it's a more accurate indication if I follow what I want/what I desire, and the actual attraction and pull I feel rather than simply arousal or whatnot? I mean I don't automatically get aroused looking at a photo of an attractive woman or something like that, even if there is attraction there. But I do know, now, that I would want to have sex with a woman if I'm feeling in a sexual mood (which I'm not always in), and although men can be attractive and good looking sure I don't think I would want to do that with them. There's just this genuine lack of real desire for that I think. Or attraction, I suppose. Like I don't know, physically I might be able to respond but there just isn't that something there. It's weird because it's hard to tell sometimes with attraction since I can't always rely on arousal. And honestly a LOT of people to me look objectively attractive and aesthetically good looking whether or not there's a sexual attraction. But I am beginning to realize that yes- my pull/desire/attraction is towards women rather than men. Anyhow, all this is just my experience. From what I've seen it can be different for everyone.
Yup, I struggled with this a lot actually when I was younger. I thought arousal and sexual attraction were the same, and I thought I was straight because I could be aroused from a guy touching me or kissing my neck, etc. But I was never sexually attracted and had zero desire to actually do anything sexual with them. When I started questioning a few years ago, I turned to porn to validify my feelings, and I watched gay male porn and was aroused, and I was like okay THANK GOD i'm straight!!! ...And that took longer to realize I am not attracted to the guys, I'm just aroused by a whole lot of random things involving sex. But I've always sexually desired women, so I just started following my sexual attraction to help sort my sexuality out before arousal.
Thanks mochii (*hug*) Yeah that's kind of why I was very confused for a long time. Even when I realized that I wasn't really that interested in guys sexually...or at all, I was still ??? about the arousal part. Like you I've been aroused by so many different things before, but it took a long time to recognize which actually held desire/attraction and which were just because of the sexual nature/content of the fantasy or whatever is happening- or you know, just physical response to something. It started making more sense when I began to understand sexual attraction and also understand my body more (since arousal is different for different sexes of course) and all that. Thanks for the reply! If anyone else has any of their own insight it's still more than welcome No person's experiences are exactly the same, after all.
I get aroused when a hair clipper is used on my neck but I'm not attracted to the hair clipper. :lol:
