1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Looking for Advice

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by thegreenlight, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. thegreenlight

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So, totally just stumbled on this site - but I've been been struggling for some time now, I really do feel like I need advice or...something. I'm not really sure. I'll stop rambling and get to the gist.

    For most of my life, I just assumed I was straight. I was always attracted to men. I had two or three crushes on guys growing up - but I've never been in a relationship. So, I've never had any sexual encounters, I've never even been kissed. Honestly, sometimes it really hurts sometimes, I always feel like there's something wrong with me - I've been asked out before, I've just never been interested in the guys who ask me. I know I have high standards...anyway, sorry. The thing is, I have zero physical experience here. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so confused.

    The thing is, I've always been attracted to women, too. I always liked looking at them, just as much as I like looking at men. Sometimes I think I even favor women - their curves and elegance, the softness about them. I tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss a girl. It was always something I tried to stifle - I didn't really think about it. I just thought about guys and thought about having a boyfriend...then I met this girl.

    We were friends, but feelings developed...feelings I'd never felt for anyone else. I was attracted to her physically, mentally - in every way. I've never met her in person, but I've never felt so aroused in my life. If I see women kissing, it turns me on. Ridiculously - just as much as seeing a man kiss a woman. I read somewhere once that "a man knows where to touch, but I woman knows how it feels to be touched." That just stuck with me, and now I think of it so much, what it would be like to be with another woman. I know it's something I want to explore.

    I guess I'm just confused because can you know you're bi if you've never had sex? I want to explore it, but having never been with anyone...I just don't want to run off looking for wild sex. I want my first time to be special, whether it's with a guy or a girl. It's just so frustrating - because these urges drive me insane sometimes. I hope I don't sound like some sort of horny maniac.

    I don't know, I'm just looking for advice - or maybe I just wanted to vent. Thanks for hearing me out.
     
  2. leeloodallas

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2015
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey, I had that same experience actually, and I had always figured I liked guys. Then I met this girl..long story short, we fell kinda hard for each other. I started to look back into my past, then realized I had never really felt straight.

    What I would tell you is to follow your heart. You seem bisexual, and you can definitely know before you've ever had a sexual experience. Pretty much everyone who starts to discover their sexual preferences is at first a horny little thing, and that is totally okay. It's good actually, because that means you are sure on some subcoscious level that you're attracted sexually to your own gender.

    My advice to you would just be to do what feels natural. Don't worry about labeling yourself; you're you before you're "bi", "straight", or "gay". I fee like if you prematurely assign yourself a label, you may feel liek you have to stick to it, which is totally not true. People change, so do their desires. So basically, do what you want to do, and when it comes time to introduce yourself to someone in terms of sexuality, you'll know what to do