On the bisexuality spectrum, do you guys believe that romantic and sexual attractions can be seperate? Perhaps being, for example, 100% straight sexually and 100% gay romantically isn't very common - I haven't heard of it, but if someone reading this is overwhelmingly polar in that regard I invite them to comment! I feel like romantically I prefer guys and I'm the equivalent of a Kinsey 1-3 or so, but sexually I prefer girls and I'm a Kinsey 3-4 or so. (still questioning though.) I also find non-binary people very attractive often, but for now at least mostly sexually, though I'm open-minded on that part because I'm not sure yet. Do any of you cuties feel the same way? ~.^ Any and all input is appreciated! Thanks! <3
Certainly. I feel little if any romantic feelings towards females, although I can be attracted to them sexually. Whereas I can harbor intense feelings towards guys in addition to sexual desire, as well as "non-binary" people and transgender women. That being said, I wish individual people could just disclose their desire for each other without any need for made-up labels.
I can't really contribute to this thread but I think it's interesting! Keen to see more answers! For the hell of it though I'll just say I'm 100% attracted to women and I've never nor will I ever be flexible.. I just don't think I have it in me! Plus I honestly love loving women ^_^ x
Hey Becki. Now don't think I go around stalking your threads... but this topic is one I find genuinely interesting. I hope more people chime in, because I'm curious to read more responses and I can't contribute much. I've never taken a good look at my gender preferences (I guess I have a "take life as it comes" approach). I imagine some day I probably will, because I understand the appeal of knowing yourself more precisely. To answer the question, I do believe (as in, I'm not saying this is a universal truth, just a personal belief) it's possible to be more sexually into one gender, and to feel a stronger emotional connection with the other gender. I actually don't think it's that uncommon, and I'm fairly sure there are a few people like this on EC. I have to admit I struggle with the idea of completely separate sexual and romantic attractions (you mentioned that in your original post).
I think they can be; it just seems very uncommon. Personally I am both homosexual and homoromantic though, so I can't say I relate.
They're most definitely separate. I'm not quite THAT polarized sexually, I'm about 80% (Women) and 20% (Men) in my sexual attractions. As far as romantic attraction goes, guys all the way, 100% hands down. Honestly being attracted to women at all is extremely annoying. I fucking hate it so much. Romantic attraction is way more important to me, so that's why I go with gay because it feels right to me and it's easier to convey I'm only interested in men.
At times I feel the same way except for your percentages. So I can definitely relate to being annoyed by finding women attractive at all.
I'm honestly unsure at this point. Maybe?? For example if I were to make generalisations, I might say I'm more attracted to men romantically and women sexually...but when I was in love with a guy pretty much everything about him was sexy to me! Aside from that, all I can add is that a certain level of androgyny is very attractive and it works both romantically and sexually for me.
I want to reply to this in the most brutal way possible but I will grit my teeth and leave it. I do have one question though.. What the hell is so wrong with being a bit attracted to girls? I find it odd that you find them sexually pleasing yet seem to feel repulsed at romantic attraction. I don't like that at all! But you know what.. this site IS for support so I might just let this one go. Doesn't mean i'm not a bit annoyed though.
I'm sorry you were upset by his comment. I don't know about him, but I can speak for myself.. I would find it extremely hard to get emotionally intimate with a woman, and it would be almost impossible for us to relate to each other. There are reasons for this of course, but you can just blame me for being afraid of emotional vulnerability with the opposite sex. I would be completely fine with that.
Interesting, Epic! Yes, go with what feels right to you ---------- Post added 11th Jul 2015 at 02:29 PM ---------- His tastes are not the same as yours, and from what I understand of his actual post, heterosexuality is annoying to him because it's inconvenient when he wants to spend his life with a man. He is not insulting womanhood in any way or form. There's nothing "wrong" with it, and he never said there was anything wrong with it. He just expressed that it was annoying to him in his life. ---------- Post added 11th Jul 2015 at 02:30 PM ---------- That sounds very similar to my attractions as well! :3
I'm romantically attracted only to females and sexually most of the time. But I had a few sexual encounters with males in the past and enjoyed them, especially when I took the female part. I can't envision myself in romantic relationships with males, it doesn't click.
I've always said that I could never be in a relationship with a guy but I've come to realize that it was due to self-loathing more than anything else, which is so stupid. If I met some great guy then I'd probably give him a chance. I don't want to cut myself off from a potential love just because that person doesn't fit my preference. But on the whole I am more attracted to people with mammary glands.
I don't mean to offend you. It's not that I'm repulsed by being romantic with women at all, in fact I had a few girlfriends when I was a bit younger. I COULD be romantic with a girl and I have, I just have no desire to do so now. I am however repulsed by my being sexually attracted to women, if you can understand that. It just feels very wrong to me for whatever reason and I don't like it. It just doesn't feel like it fits in with who I am. I'm not saying that I hate women or anything like that, all I'm saying is that being attracted to them annoys me because it's not what I want. I find women very beautiful and aesthetically pleasing, and against my wishes my body and mind interpret that as sexual attraction somehow. That all sound very strange I'm sure, but honestly that's what it's like. I'm really not trying to offend anyone.
You know, it's always seemed to me that the classic 1950's model of heteronormativity was in a sense a 'separate attractions' model: an opposite-sex spouse and a same-sex best friend. I wonder what the shift to the 'spouse and best friend in one' ideal says about us. Is the blurring and softening of gender roles making it easier for men and women to relate to each other? Personally, I find virtually all of my friends tend to be masculine-of-center people (I went to school back when math & cs courses were 95% male!), even though I find feminine-to-androgynous-presenting people far more aesthetically attractive. I've always wondered if that might be different if I'd ever really immersed myself in a predominately feminine environment like a women's college. Maybe someday?
I do believe that sexual and romantic attractions are separated. I am sexually and romantically attracted to guys and only romantically attracted to girls. There are some times where I would be sexually attracted to girls, but that is very rare. But there's something weird about me. There are times where I couldnt help my self in checking out some girls' legs and butt and boobs. I dont feel anything tho, nothing. I dont know, maybe there is but my brain isnt processing it that much... UGH I dont know. But I am sure that only guys (rarely some few girls) give me erection.
