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Straight lesbian

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Monak, Jul 10, 2015.

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  1. Monak

    Monak
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    This will be long but i really need advice, any advice would help :slight_smile:


    I always been attracted to girls but i always dated only guys. i have boyfriend for 1 year and few months he was my neighbor in my country and he Moved here. he slept in my place and that how we start to date. After 4 months staying at my place he moved but he was sleeping at mu place so I didn't really had time off to think about it. I really do have feelings for him but not as much as i use to have.
    He is very controlling and he always would check my phone my fb and i start to lose interest in him, whenever we go out he always takes his jealous attitude which ruins my night.

    We use to got in fight very easily and he always tend to remind the same stuff all over again, in between i would have me tion to him dont push me away i love u he wouldn't really care at the moment when he was furious. Meaning he never have had any trust in me and we were together all the time ....
    So after every fight something inside me dies I downloaded app the other day when we had a fight and met a girl and i talk with her for about 3 weeks. But i am really confused i dont really feel about him the same i feel broken etc and like i dont have any more patience left for his crap. But at the same time i dont want to hurt him and i am really clueless, scared...i told him i am bi and that ii like girls too he is hurting and i feel like crap :frowning2:
     
    #1 Monak, Jul 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2015
  2. Monak

    Monak
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    I am not a troll , I really feel bad and I need an advice pls
     
    #2 Monak, Jul 10, 2015
  3. Invidia

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    Hello, Monak.

    I think you should reconsider your relationship, as in what do I want from my boyfriend and does he give me that?
    What would you say are the pros and cons in your relationship?
     
    #3 Invidia, Jul 10, 2015
  4. erioed

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    It seems that you're asking for relationship advice more than sexual orientation.
    I'm no expert but if he's hurting you so much you should have a serious talk with him. Do you feel anything for that girl?
     
    #4 erioed, Jul 10, 2015
  5. fly butterfly

    fly butterfly
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    But you still love him,and he is loving you because after a year everyone had a chance to go away but no one did and looks like you loved and still love each other.Anyway if there is any chance and if you want to save the relationship you should talk because in the it was a year everyday together and it wont be easy for both of you.You were so close all life and fell in love and fight is normal thing in every relationship but always at the end love should win.Also probably he was jealous because he loved you too much and you were everything to him its usual people to act like that when they go crazy trust me :slight_smile: All i know from personal experience talk should help and if he understands he may be need more time but he will know and you will know that in the and you should be together if there is still love between you left.Honestly he was crazy about you but he couldn know how to tell you :frowning2:....................... from personal experience :confused:
     
    #5 fly butterfly, Jul 10, 2015
  6. KJA

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    He sounds to me like he is a control freak and a very controlling person. People like that generally do not change, regardless of their stories. I'd move on before you find yourself trapped in a relationship you really don't want.
     
    #6 KJA, Jul 10, 2015
  7. Monak

    Monak
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    Erioed yes i have feeling for her and i dont know how do I feel about him i dont see him the same way and all i feel is that i am bad person for talking to that girl but it feels so good and i cant stop it so idk what to do i dont want him to be hurt
     
    #7 Monak, Jul 10, 2015
  8. fly butterfly

    fly butterfly
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    Maybe you feel like that just because you talk to that girl if you go further you definitely passed much better moments and everything with him than others and just that thing is taking all your energy and the talking to her just because is something new but sometimes we should understand the guys that how tough they look and act like fools its because of feelings so of experience doesn't mean they are bad just they don't know how to react.I will tell you he loved you so much and you was everything to him i fell very bad because me also didn't understand that then if he loves you he will be always there for you so doesn't matter if you are bi he will always love you and you will always love him thats what i was feeling and knew then but didn't want to see but now i hurt that guy because they are weaker than us girls to be honest but doesn't mean without feelings so definitely i think this guy will love you always doesn't matter what you are he will always do everything for you and you will always be something to him and to feel bad about him is natural you can not pass so much time with someone and not to have feelings :frowning2:

    ---------- Post added 10th Jul 2015 at 02:52 PM ----------

    But at the and of the day is what you feel about everything because he has space in you heart and you have in his so you have to talk and be on clear about everything like i said talking is the mother of everything :slight_smile:
     
    #8 fly butterfly, Jul 10, 2015
  9. Monak

    Monak
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    fly butterfly thank you for your opinion. Btw we talked and we said we will still be together no matter what and i asked him, if he would mind it if I try with a girl, because that how i feel, that i have to do it. But its very bad situation i wont wish to my worst enemy.

    I really have feelings for him and i feel bad that this has to be this way, but i dont want to be wondering my all life or even when i have children etc. I should have done my experimentation long time ago but i was keep ignoring it. And all this sounds so bad.
     
    #9 Monak, Jul 10, 2015
  10. Invidia

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    It doesn't sound bad, Monak.

    1) You're very interested in being with another woman.
    2) You are questioning your feelings for your partner and whether or not he is a good partner, if I understand things correctly?

    Of course you will connect those dots in your mind and have it draw a picture of you with another woman.

    Perhaps he would be in for group sex? Or have you considered an open relationship?

    It's good that the two of you are talking. Perhaps it's best not to let the "we will still be together no matter what" result in a stalemate where you don't talk about things? It can be good to let him know thhat you still don't have peace of mind, which you don't seem to have?

    Much care, much love

    (*hug*)
     
    #10 Invidia, Jul 11, 2015
  11. fly butterfly

    fly butterfly
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    Thanks monak,i will tell you one thing try see what you want and if its him because i see that you both are for eachother grab him grab him strong and dont allow anything to seperate you two.True love happens once in life so i dont want you to feel very very bad and to regret about things in life and like becky said consider him its obvious he is everything to you and you are everything to him.
     
    #11 fly butterfly, Jul 11, 2015
  12. Monak

    Monak
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    Thank you guys you are the best.
    we talked about it with him and we are in open relationship for now. I want to see try with girls to but i dont know how i am gonna play all that.
     
    #12 Monak, Jul 11, 2015
  13. fly butterfly

    fly butterfly
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    Great to hear that talking helps but what do you feel is he THE guy you love most and maybe spend the life together?because you are trying to keep him close to you and not lose him.I think that after the experiment you should talk and tell him how you feel if still you two can be together or not and not giving him lost hope.
     
    #13 fly butterfly, Jul 11, 2015
  14. Invidia

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    That sounds like a very good decision on your part, Monak! I'm so happy for you!! (*hug*)
     
    #14 Invidia, Jul 11, 2015
  15. Monak

    Monak
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    Well bad news guys he is not really taking it to well. I thought he would accepted it but no and he is hurting and i feel like an asshole bad bad evil girl :frowning2: I am clueless
     
    #15 Monak, Jul 11, 2015
  16. fly butterfly

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    Well probably he was connected to you emotionally a lot and its not anything strange to feel like that you should tell him what you feel in your heart,is he still your number one guy in the world and you intend to be with him again sometime in the future,or that he is nothing to you anymore and doesnt mean anything to you.We are all people we are all emotional tough on outside,glass inside :frowning2: And dont feel like evil but if you knew this gonna hurt him so much and you were unsure about what you are you shouldn't have started so deep and emotional relationship.
     
    #16 fly butterfly, Jul 11, 2015
  17. Monak

    Monak
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    Thank you fly butterfly.
    I am really confused and overwhelmed i need time to know how i feel but it hurts me that i see him like this. I am the worst person in the whole world
     
    #17 Monak, Jul 11, 2015
  18. Monak

    Monak
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    We have been through a lot but a lot of the times he got angry for stupid stuff and gets aggressive and yells like no tomorrow. And it was like that almost ever other day and gets jealous about stupid stuff and checking out my fb and phone and i never even saw his fb and its not fair for me too. Cause i was nothing but loving him the whole time and it come the day that I got enough and i feel really bad, but why he didin't care when i was hurting? is that okay?. i don't know if i could act with him with love the way i did. I really still care for him but he tries to put to whole blame on me again and its not fair for me either.
     
    #18 Monak, Jul 11, 2015
  19. fly butterfly

    fly butterfly
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    Then darling what can i say,its obvious you wont be with him and its very very sad because i can see you two were like for one another but something changed with time maybe he was under big stress or something but trust me i saw that type of guy he is tooo emotional and cant cope with that and put some stress or something like gas on fire you have explosive person,he was emotional for you but i dont know why he would hide the positive emotion and expose the negative but idk im sure you didnt need fb check or everything for person that was doing all that he was with you darling and he was desperate to show you that you are everything to him but didnt know how.I lost my true love and i will never find it again thats why im here i wanna tell that love is everything but there are lot of ways to show it,sometimes good sometimes bad.And im seeing it again :frowning2: he knows what he had done trust me a guy without love wont care about you at all and you wont care about him but you both do now,all you had to do is think about the best moments and only that(if you had) the love was here just the expression was bad.
     
    #19 fly butterfly, Jul 11, 2015
  20. paris

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    Monak, you're not a bad evil girl!!! To be attracted to women is like being a sunflower that needs lots of sunshine to grow nice and healthy. It's not bad or evil of the sunflower to need sunshine, it's just natural for her like breathing is for people. And you know that without sun flowers wilt, right? What he does though is that he's been blocking all the sun away from you so it's quite understandable you feel different about him.
    Besides I kind of see it that every lifetime our souls are here on the Earth to gain new experience and learn a new lesson. He's obviously very controlling and possessive and he needs to understand that but he won't learn his lesson if you stay with him and tolerate all his aggressive and jealous behaviour; and believe me, what you described is far from a healthy and loving relationship!
    I think you deserve to be with someone who you truly love and who you're truly attracted to, someone who brings lots of sun into your life, not someone who takes your self-esteem and happiness away and forces you to live in deep shade.
    Please, don't be afraid of who you are and what you desire. Wishing you all the best. (*hug*)
     
    #20 paris, Jul 12, 2015
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