Hi! I first questioned my sexuality 3 years ago. Up until now, I considered me a bisexual girl with changing preferences depending on the day. Maybe it's because I never though of what the word "sexual" implies. You see, even if I can like a guy physically and think "damn that guy's hot", I have no desire to have sex with a man, or guy, or anything with a penis (don't mean to be mean). I do with a girl. Up until here, it's fairly easy and I shouldn't be all this confused and face some facts, right? But now we come to a little problem. I think this might be due to some... unwanted contact when I was 12, provided by some lovely 20 y. o. guy that wanted to have some fun. Could it be that at that age, he messed up with some connections in my brain or something and this is just some kind of "trauma" that would disappear by finding "the right guy" as people tell me? I sometimes have the feeling that I might be using that experience as an excuse, and that didn't change anything and I've always been like this.
I'm 17 as well, and I've never had any unwanted sexual advances, but even without that I'm still very confused and distressed about my orientation. I know people will tell you that the experience you had will effect your orientation, but in the end I'm of the belief that our orientation is something innate to us from birth and while the experience may fuel your confusion, I don't think that it will obscure your true identity. Sometimes we just have to accept that these things take time to figure out, this is a lesson I need to learn as well. In the end the only feelings that matter is your own, and if you feel something for someone don't feel bad about just embrace it. If you feel right now in this moment that you are gay then that is fine, and if that changes with time that is fine. If you want to choose a label for yourself right now, that is fine and if you feel the need to change it later, that's fine. In the time being while your trying to figure yourself out just focus on being as happy as you possibly can. Focus on friends, on family, on school, on your passions, and on living. Eventually you will know the answer to your question; it will naturally progress and unfold with time. Just take deep breath and just be for a minute because no matter what label we give ourselves we are still the same person on the inside. The quote "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" puts it best. Be kind to your self. Good luck.
Thanks for your answer! I really think that I'm just being lazy. Everybody tells me that it's because of that experience, so I hide behind it. I feel like I need people to say something else for a change, I don't know, so I can think of the possibility of not being into men at all as something real and not just a consequence that can be "treated". Still I can't help but wonder how different would it be if I hadn't been touched in places. It's really difficult to differentiate between what would be the same and what not, so I'll just be obsessed with it the whole summer while I have nothing better to do ^^
