Hey everyone. I've come here seeking some wisdom in regards to my sexual orientation. I currently don't have anyone around who I can ask these kinds of questions to in person, so I'm turning to the interwebs lol. I'm trying to figure out where I lie on the spectrum. I'm 20 years old and biologically female, and up until now I have only ever been sexually involved with men, and I would say it's been ...okay. I like intercourse I suppose, but the rest with men is unfulfilling. However, especially looking back, I've never really had crushes on boys (the few I have had have been on rather effeminate men). However I've had a LOT of crushes on girls. I would also have to say, that as far as who I look at and am sexually attracted by, it's also mostly women. When I look at attractive men, I think they look nice and awesome and everything, but more from an artistic/'I wanna look like you' perspective. I feel a lot more 'fire' when I look at other girls. Based on this I would say I'm either a lesbian or a lesbian leaning bi-sexual. However, there is one thing throwing this out of wack, and that is (*disclaimer, things are about to get a bit more explicit*) I really like penis. I could take or leave the rest of the guy, but I like the peen. It's weird though, almost like I feel like I'm a lesbian with a dick fetish if that's even remotely possible. I'm also not sure how much of it is actual attraction, and how much is related to my other issues (issues with gender identity). I guess I'm asking, what would you say my sexual orientation is based on this? I know labels aren't really important, but leaving it free and open kind of makes it difficult for me to wrap my head around. I would appreciate any insight into these issues. I feel very lost right now as far as who I am, and I'm hoping to get some wisdom that might help me come to some answers.
Hi! If you definitely prefer girls a fitting label would be "(mostly) gynasexual". (Or lesbian/gay if you want to identify in that way. I was thinking also about your gender identity and if maybe it could clash.) Are you sure of your attractions? Can you give examples of how you are more attracted to women?
Glad to learn there is an alternative term And I'm not entirely sure, but the way I've described it is, when I look at an 'attractive' man, I don't feel much desire towards them. Although I'm not put off by them at all, I never see a guy really and think 'I want to make out with you'. As far as sex goes, I do enjoy it with men somewhat. But that's it with guys. I have no desire for other forms of intimacy with them really, not opposed exactly, but there's definitely no desire. When I see a girl I like however, I want to kiss them, hold them, and make them happy in addition to having sex with them. This is based on how I imagine it though I guess, as I've never done more than kiss a girl (that kiss was awesome though). I didn't used to feel all this as clearly, when I was in high school, it was much less defined, and it seemed to be just some foggy deep longing towards certain girls I knew, but I've only really had a similar kind of feeling for one man (my current ex and best friend) but it's been stronger towards the women I feel this towards. There's does seem to be some overlap with my gender identity I've noticed. On days where my dysphoria isn't real bad and don't mind so much being my biological gender, men can be a little appealing (though still less than women). Otherwise I don't care for men to much and really want a girlfriend.
You sound sure to me and I definitely think you sound like you're gynasexual Or well, gynasexual but flexible in the regard that you'd sleep with a man simply for sensual pleasure and because you like the peen ^_^ So "mostly gynasexual" sounds very spot-on to me. Maybe a second opinion from someone else would be good though. So please, people, comment (and btw, I'll just send you a friend request, you seem like an awesome person )
I agree with Becki, gynasexual seems like a fitting label. But remember, romantic and sexual orientation are different. You could be a homoromantic bisexual, meaning you only want to date and love and hug girls, but you could have sex with men or women. Just something to look into.
