Hi all, I've gone through a lot the past year. Well my whole life actually, but I made it a point to find a sexual partner I enjoy in the last year. Someone who would respect me, allow me space, and patience. Who would want me to cum if they did. I went through months of abstinence, and months of promiscuity. Finally, to my surprise, I met a man who became a good friend of mine. Our personalities fit together so well, and I love the connection we've made. I feel so happy to know him and happy to know that men can be caring lovers too. But, in the midst of this. I'm realizing I'm gay. Like to the point where it feels like it is screaming out of me. I see the world differently, and I can see how I would never want a sexual relationship with a male again, ever. Ever. I know now that what I really want is a best friend, and woman, to share my bed with. So what do you guys think? Where does this leave me and my man friend. I can't have sex with him anymore, the penis is beginning to be a huge turn off. I'm sure I should just tell him. Buttt, tell me what you think please. Am I alone in this? I guess my fear is that, I'll tell him and well discontinue our sex, and therefore our relationship. His romantic interest will change for someone else, and I'll be forgotten. Gah
Hi and welcome. you don't have to be having sex with somebody to deserve their friendship or affection. If sex is all the relationship was about -then you might have to re-examine your understanding of it as two personalities fitting together as friends. If he is genuinely your friend- he will remain so, even after your sex part stops. If not- then you are better off without him! There is something about lesbians developing deep, meaningful friendships with guys which are complicated with somehow sexual components before they realise they are gay- and then handling the issue with excessively kid-gloved attitude. Yes, you will hurt him- but not in a way which he will not be able to handle it. People break up all the time. Just stay true to yourself and things will be fine.
Listen to me: Don't stay in a relationship for fear of losing that person's friendship. That is only going to leave you miserable, and by association, he'll end up miserable too. It can be extremely difficult to break up, even when you know things aren't going to work out. But trust me when I say that even if you break up with this guy and he never speaks to you again, you'll still be better off. Picture yourself in a year from now, in two years from now. You could be with a woman. You could have the life you want. If you stay with this guy, you are denying both yourself and this guy you are with the best shot. If he truly cares about you, he will understand, I promise. And if he doesn't, you do not need him in your life. Read that again, because it's important. You deserve people in your life who will accept you, and if this man cannot do that, then you do not need him in your life. You can be happy. You can do this, you can make this decision. You are in charge of your life. Everything will, eventually, be okay.
Thank you Haichi. That sounds a lot like advice I would give myself because I know it's true. It's difficult because I spent my straight life looking for someone exactly like this guy. He's extraordinary. But I now know that no matter what, it won't be right. Because I like women. Thank you so much. You're right, I can do this, it's my choice. Also I used to live in Pittsburgh! So it's nice to hear from someone from home.
trust me it wont work out jut as others have said, i too went through a similar period where i dated a girl who i thought i loved but i like men so it never would have worked out. in the end i broke up with her, she hated me for a short ammount of time and now we are best friends.
