So I'm going to try and cut a long story short, but it will not work because I can talk(like seriously)...I'm 16 and have had am unsure if I'm a lesbian or bi or maybe even straight (girl by the way, my name's sarah). Lately I've been questioning whether I like girls. I've had quite a few boyfriends in the past but not any real serious ones. I've always thought of myself as straight as never had that 'wow, i like girls' at a young age that I know people have. I'd never had a crush on any of my friends, or even any girl I knew in person to be honest, until a about a year ago. So roughly a year ago I had a dream about one of my girl friends (not really that close though), and we kissed in the dream and I woke up feeling kind of confused? I'd never thought of kissing a girl before and always imagined myself ending up with a guy...Anyways after this dream I suddenly had what seemed like a large crush on this girl. I'd think about her a lot and when we were together I'd feel awkward around her and thank god people can't read minds haha. So within a month or two I 'got over it' and stopped thinking about her as more than a friend. I've not had a crush on any girl that I actually know since. However I have huge girl crushes on celebrities, and have for a few years. At the start though it was more that I wanted to be them, rather than be with them? But within the last sixth months I find some celebrities so attractive, I have definitely considered the idea of being with a girl. However the real reason I'm questioning whether I may be a lesbian, is because of this strange experience I've had with my latest boyfriend. I find men in general attractive, they look good right? But I don't know if I'm sexually or emotionally attracted to them. When I kiss my current (kind of) boyfriend I just don't feel anything. Not only is it kind of gross but I actually don't enjoy it at all. I definitely find him attractive, and enjoy spending time with him, but I just don't like kissing him, it just feels wrong. Anyway, I'm really confused. I'm not worried about the idea of being a lesbian, as I feel like I'd have plenty of support from parents (they're very good about pretty much everything) - it's more that I just don't like not knowing how I actually feel? I'd rather just know, you know? It's hard to fully find out because I've never actually kissed a girl, but do like girls' company as well as being with boys. I know I should probably just wait and see what ever happens next in my life and experiment but I thought I might at least ask what other people think. Am I lesbian?
You do sound like you are attracted to girls. It could mean you are lesbian or bisexual. I would explore the possibility that you could be either, before worrying which of the two you are. With the boyfriend- it sounds like you are not into him. It is difficult to tell if you are just not attracted to him as such- and it is a possibility, even if you find him attractive, or just not attracted to men/boys in general. How do you feel about other boys? Do you ever feel anything around attractive boys? Don't make yourself stay in a relationship with a boy if you don't want it- you don't owe it to anyone. It is always more difficult to accept same sex attraction- so work on that first- maybe there is an lgbt friendly group somewhere you could join?
I certainly used to think I was attracted to men/boys, as I liked being with them and those that I kissed I did enjoy. However I just don't think men are sexy the same way women are, they look good but I don't know if I would ever feel sexually attracted to them. Especially when I was younger about 13/14 I thought about being with boys, but now I actually have a boyfriend who I like, and enjoy being around, it doesn't seem appealing to me after kissing? Thanks for the advice, I'll certainly think about everything for a while before going any further with this idea of being bi/lesbian.
