I've had crushes on both girls and guys, and I identify as pansexual, but I don't know if I'm pansexual or panromantic asexual. I'm 14, so I can't just experiment with that, but the idea of sex has never really appealed to me. It doesn't make me uncomfortable or anything when I see a sex scene on a TV show, but I've never really wanted to have sex with someone. I don't know if this is just a phase and I'll eventually come to appreciate it or if this is who I am. :help:
I mean, from the description, it sounds like panromantic asexual, but really there's not much of a way I can tell. I wouldn't put much weight to the "it's a phase" thing. May well be that you'll feel differently in the future, but it's not much use invalidating however you feel right now. My rule of thumb is that who I am right now is who I am. Anyway, you seem pretty on top of things here.
Yes, that's what I think too. If you feel panromantic asexual right now, then you can call yourself that way. Your romantic and sexual orientation can fluctuate over time, but it's not a problem and it does not invalidate who you are right now, as souverian said ^^
I'm a panda ace bear (panromantic & asexual) too! I've doubted a lot, and tried many titles but I'm sure of this one. If you ever need someone to talk to about this or anything else, I'm here. I also agree with souverian. Labeling oneself does not have to be the end-all-be-all of the matter. As Aydian Dowling once said, "Just because I say today 'I hate the color blue!' Doesn't mean I'm always going to hate the color blue. A year from now that might be my favorite color!" The point being, the labels you have right now should reflect who you are today - but not restrain who you can be tomorrow. Cheers. -Peter-
I keep being told it's all about attraction. Which doesn't really help me in that I don't know if I've ever felt that or not, but right now panromantic asexual fits me very well. I like people, sex is not what I think of when I say I like them. You can be sexually attracted to people, but also not like the idea of doing it. But if panromantic asexual feels best for you now, that's awesome. As already said, sexuality is fluid. You don't have to stick with one for life.
I'm a biromantic ace, so it's pretty similar. If you feel no desire to have sex at all then yes, I would say you are an asexual. But you have to figure that out for yourself and see what best fits you. And remember that you don't need to label yourself. You like who you like. I wouldn't worry too much about that now though. I mean, you are 14. It's a little young to be thinking about sex and such.
Young Blood --> I think it's up to YinYang to decide if she is too young to think about sex or not I was 10 when I started to think about that, and I wasn't too young, I was just ready and if it's just thinking, what's wrong with that?
If we are talking about the widely accepted definition of asexual used by practically everyone credible, and backed by research... I can say with near 100% confidence that you are not asexual, based on what you've described. There is a tiny group of people who have constructed an alternative definition of asexuality, one that has absolutely no basis or grounding in anything credible. It is not widely used, except on Tumblr and a few small internet forums, and definitely not used by much of anyone credible. Because that definition has no credible basis among professionals, researchers, or in the field, it can mean almost anything and so it's possible that label could be stretched to fit you since it seems to fit just about anyone under this unrecognized definition. But I don't think that would actually be helpful to you to adopt it. It is very, very common for people of your age to not have any particular interest in or desire for sex. For some, the idea is downright scary or unappealing. This is entirely normal and does not connote any unusual or unrecognized sexual identity; it's simply part of the normal spectrum of sexual development. I'd give you close to 100% that you're perfectly normal, and in time, you'll develop normal sexual attraction like most everyone else.
It is fully possible that you have not bloomed yet and that you will find later on that your sexual interest will increase. "Panromantic and no interest in sex" sounds fitting for you. How you choose to label that is up to you. Just give yourself time to think, breathe and feel and all good things and all truth will come in time.
To be honest, I'm wary of the way "it's a phase" is used. Objectively, it's not a bad phrase, but I think a lot of ignorant people use it to be dismissive about young LGBT people's sexuality and gender identity and I feel as though because of this, it's gained a lot of negative connotations that don't need to be heard by someone that's questioning their sexuality. People change and go through a lot of stages before they settle on something. Some people never settle at all. That doesn't devalue the state they're in or any of the states that came before that! You do sound like a panromantic asexual as you have little interest in (participating in) sex, but as you say, you are still developing and this could change. It could also not change. I personally only started feeling sexual attraction to people when I was 18, but until then, I identified as asexual, and my previous status as an asexual person has not been invalidated because I no longer feel that way, you know? Please don't feel like whatever you say about your identity is binding. There is no real permanent state of the self and you are not obliged to stick to what you said about your identity at any one moment!
Except that asexuality, if the label is being used as a sexual orientation, (and if the label is being used as the overwhelming majority of credible professionals use it) implies a hardwired, unchangeable sexual orientation. What the OP describes in no way fits that description, and at age 14, a very large number of people have no real interest in sex, so it is actually far more likely than not that what she is describing is, in fact, something that will change over time. Were she truly asexual (at least, according to the widely accepted definition), that would not be the case. So in this circumstance, it makes sense to point to the idea that what she is feeling now will likely change. See, here is where the unrecognized, unscientific, unresearched, and pulled-out-of the air definitions really come into play. Credible, widely accepted sexual orientatiions don't change on a whim. Random crowdsourced definitions that come from Tumblr and small web communities can choose whatever defiinitions they want... but that isn't very helpful to people. We really don't do people a service by representing that orientations commonly change, because, at least according to 60 or so years of solid research, they very rarely do. Of course... according to Tumblr and various web forums, that isn't the case... but it's really up to the OP if she wants to believe a small faction of people making stuff up and then deciding that's what it means, compared to the researchers, professionals, and clinicians who have studied the field for decades. All I have to say is... wow. If that's really the viewpoint of those promoting the unrecognized definitions of these words, then the words really do mean pretty much anything anyone wants them to mean which also means... they don't mean anything at all, because there's no grounding in anything solid. Have at it if that works for you.
Chip, I'm not sure this is the place to express your distrust of 'Tumblr' rhetoric or argue with me. With all due respect, I'm not sure I trust unnamed scientists, the vague references to studies and clinicians, or the insinuation that science is apolitical. If you want to turn the thread into a debate of credibility, well, you do you...or not, seeing as it's not entirely appropriate. You could have expressed your views directly to the OP rather than formatted them as a direct response to me, and OP would have gotten the same message.
OP, taking a step back and thinking about what sex means to you can be a good idea. If you don't have much or any interest in sex now, firstly I want you to know that you are not alone and that at age 14, that is normal and many other 14-year olds feel the same way. Firstly, I don't think it's a "phase" since you haven't felt it before and then stopped. I think you likely just haven't bloomed yet. Some don't bloom until their late teens or early adulthood. Maybe you won't bloom, and if you don't, well, then you are asexual. But for now, maybe trying to relax about your sex drive would be good. You will know, later. For now you prefer reading books or things you like to do, right? Well, later on you might or might not come to like sex. Time will tell, and worrying about it isn't going to help much. Hope that helps
You don't know me :roflmao: Seriously though, everyone develops differently and it is possible you haven't hit that point yet. Or, you might really be asexual. Only time will tell.
