Hello everyone, Ive been reading a lot of posts and forums here, new to this site. I'm not in a good place right now and thought it would be nice to have an opinion. I think I identify as gay. Although I had a few crushes on girls in my school years, I later realised that I am attracted to guys and was pretty sure about it.I haven't been in a relationship with a girl till now. Although not relationships, I have been physically intimate with guys. Being in my late 20's now, however, I'm questioning. One of the things that I would like to ask is, is there any possibility that a gay guy can get off by looking at girls? Porn or otherwise? I understand that sexuality is a spectrum and the Kinsey scale, but for those who lean towards the gay side of the scale? Lately I do feel that looking at a provocative picture of a girl or something similar gets me thinking. May be I am sexualising my anxiety? Or conditioning? Or genuine? I do still find guys extremely attractive and hot. Girls, I don't know. Small things put doubts in my mind, and this is one of them. It would be really helpful to hear from you. Thank you.
I'm a female, but I actually relate to this too since I tend to prefer porn that involves gay men doing it over lesbian/straight/etc. I consider myself more rigid/6 on the scale even so since I'm not really interested in being with men, and I don't find them sexually attractive...I just prefer the scenery being more realistic, passionate, etc. Men do tend to be a bit more visual which is why many men- straight or gay- will go into crisis mode when they find out they can enjoy porn involving other genders. So It's one thing to ask yourself if you actually want sex or relationships with women or if it's just a "porn thing" which doesn't always reflect reality.
Just forget about what you find 'hot' and what arouses you, and instead ask yourself: would you ever get with a person of the opposite sex?
When I was in denial I thought I was into men physically, until I realized my attraction to women was a whole different feeling, it felt right. My attraction to men felt a little forced out of years of growing up thinking I was straight. You could be appreciating the female form and sensuality. Or you could be attracted. I think when it boils down to it, whatever feels more natural is your answer. Can you picture yourself naturally with a woman physically and/or emotionally? Did your relationships with women feel forced or unnatural? It might not be so simple, but try not to overthink it too much.
Thank you so much for your replies - Fallingdown7 - I agree with the notion that porn doesn't always reflect reality. Well, I have been physically with guys till now. With girls, no. But when I think more and more of sexual acts with girls, it kinda grosses me out. But then again, I haven't been with a female, relationship or just physical. So I dunno. Yosia - I understand. I'm just in a state of mind where I don't know if I could with the opposite sex, just physically or relationship, because Ive never been in one before. And Im wary to experiment because I don't want to end up hurting anyone or anything insensitive. Mochii - I haven't been in any relationships yet, let alone with a girl. I've heard 2-3 curshes on girls, that too in my early youth. None after that. If I may ask, now that you identify as a lesbian, do you think you could be aroused/get off by the opp sex? Porn or otherwise? Thank you so much
Whoops sorry I misread that as you have been in relationships with girls up until now. For me, and I'm not sure if this is just a woman thing, I can get aroused by a lot of sexual things, like a man being aroused. But I'm not actually sexually/emotionally attracted to him. I like to watch straight and lesbian porn. But when it comes down to who I am sexually attracted to, it's just women. And I'm mostly into the women in the porn. But the whole act of sex arouses me, straight or gay. Hopefully that makes a little sense.
It could just be your mind putting you into this whole thing. There are occasions in which we find ourselves thinking whether we're really what we see ourselves as but in reality it's just your mind playing with you. But why do labels matter, anyway? Proceed to whichever makes you comfortable! Listen to that pounding organ in your chest!
Mochii - Thank you for the reply. What you said does make sense. As in , like you said, there are things that can arouse a person but it doesn't necessarily reflect or imply that he/she is attracted. Irrespective of the person, may b just the fact that the act/image we see is sexual, which is what gets us aroused.. Armin - Thank you for replying. Yup, mind does play tricks. Sigh. And its just :/ I don't know if its the anxiety,repression,curiosity or what..
