Hey guys, I'm really confused right now. I'm a currently 18 year old girl and always thought that I'm straight. I've had boyfriends before but nothing too serious, but I was always attracted to men. Whenever I see women I do tell myself sometimes 'wow she's really pretty' but I'm not really sexually attracted to them. So now my problem. I have a really good friend who is a lesbian and when we first met 2 years ago she immediately told me that she was a lesbian but to that time I was a 100% convinced that I'm straight so I was like 'okay' and that was basically it. We became really really close over the past couple of months, but I never thought of her like girlfriend material, because, like I said, I thought that I was straight- until about 2 months ago, when I started to question my sexuality. I've been really confused lately because I still don't find that women attract me in a sexual way but I do think I fell in love with my lesbian best friend. I know this sounds really weird but she is the only girl I could imagine myself having sex with, we get along so well and I love her so much, it feels like she's my soulmate. I would love to tell her that I think I fell in love with her but on the other hand I'm still not sure if I'm now a lesbian or bisexual or whatever. I'm scared if I'm gonna tell her, and we'll start dating or whatever (I don't even know if she finds me attractive or anything) that I'll then find out that I'm actually straight and I don't want to break her heart. On the other hand it kills me to live like this, I would just love to tell her but I don't want to loose her on the other hand. I don't know what's wrong with me I've never felt that way. I don't know if she would like me back, even tho she did mention sometimes how beautiful I am and hoe much she loves me but I don't know if she meant that in a friendly way or not. I'm thankful for any advice of yours, please help!!
Why don't you talk to her generally about sexuality. Ask her how she knew she was a lesbian, whether or not she ever had a relationship with a guy and admit that sometimes you question your own sexuality Don't come right out and tell her you love her but gauge her reaction to the bits you DO reveal about yourself.
You sound a lot like what happened to me. Why not take a chance? If your feelings change, then they change. People break up all the time, and heterosexuals included. Have you had much sexual experience with men? And how did that go for you? I've had difficulty having sex with men, but never thought it was because I wasn't straight. I still don't know the answer, but it is what it is. Perhaps be open with her and tell her you feel attracted and you're not sure what it means for yourself, and you're worried about hurting her. It sounds like you need to say something.
Thank you for your answer! I've slept with 2 guys in my life and always enjoyed it and I'm 100% positive that I'm attracted to guys, but I'm not sure about girls. That's why I'm thinking I might be bisexual but definitely not a lesbian, maybe I just shouldn't try to label myself I guess. You're right I think I'm gonna tell her if I'm brave enough, thank you again for your answer, this helped me a lot!! ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2015 at 06:21 PM ---------- Thank you for your quick answer, still debating about just telling her right in the face or doing what you advise me to, I'll have to figure it out soon...
It's good that you are thinking about how to tell her. Telling her you have feelings for her or trying to do it slowly might be a tough choice, and it's yours to take. I hope it goes well either way. Also, I suppose you understand that since she's a lesbian and has been out for a long time you're kind of less certain about things and she is the one with more 'authority'. Don't get me wrong, please; I don't think she would use you or so. What I mean is, she might take it very well, since she has more experience with these feelings and with questioning your sexuality. I get that you might be anxious about how she'll respond and so on, but either way it must be said, right? I wish you all the luck
