So I've started questioning my sexual orientation recently and I think I might be bisexual. And I'm cool with that. I don't mind being bi. But every night when I go to bed I just lie there for hours thinking over and over "Am I bisexual? Am I bisexual?" Last night I only got about two and a half- three hours sleep. I can't concentrate on anything. I spend the majority of my free time researching bisexuality and questioning on the internet. I think that when/if I do come out as bisexual then I won't have to worry about this anymore, but I don't want to come out until I am sure I am. Because I worry that if I come out as bisexual but then I realise that I'm straight and will have to revert my label that will be embarrassing, but if I tell my parents that I'm questioning I'm worried that they'll then try to convince me I'm straight. I understand that most LGBTQ people have probably gone through this. Do you have any advice for insomnia specifically related to this? Or just not letting it consume your thoughts?
I've been through the same thing for about six months, and I don't wanna tell you to stop thinking about it, because I know it's hard and you just wanna be sure about what you are. I can just tell you that at some point you'll know, and you'll embrace it just give it some more time.
I actually came out as bisexual about 6 months ago to my parents, then pansexual, and now panromantic asexual. It's not as embarrassing as you'd think, just a little awkward at first. Maybe you should tell your parents that your are questioning and need a little time and space to find out who you are. Have a little talk with them about why you are questioning, and maybe even throw in something like 'I know I'm not straight, so that's out.' That way they don't try to convince you. Or you can try to find your sexuality first, then come out. Whatever you want Try not to stress over it, though.
I have been questioning for about 9 months and for the first few months and sometimes even now, I got little sleep just thinking about my sexuality and putting myself in situations in my mind to see if it would feel right. I later on found ASMR videos. While you watch them, they relax your body and you can fall asleep peacefully. That's what I do whenever my mind is racing and I can't sleep. But this stuff is still always on my mind and what I use is distraction to stop thinking about it. Think about something you love doing, and go do it. it distracts me for a little while doing something I like. You'll figure it out though. It just takes time. Honestly, I feel like I'm discovering myself and my sexuality a little bit more everyday. So just let your feelings come and don't try to deny those feelings. I wish you luck my friend
Hey, this is a really familiar situation! One thing I have found helpful is finding people to talk to who are really open minded about it - for example a large number of my friends are out LGBT and I find it way easier to talk to them than my close family and partner... Hopefully coming out to close ones will help the anxiety subside a bit, but in the meantime try and find people who you can chat with (on here is good too!)
Thank you very much! Yeah I think that if I end up questioning for a long time I might tell my parents that, but the thing is that I only started questioning my orientation around two or three weeks ago- although it feels like longer! So I think its best to just leave it for a while. Also even though I have quite open-minded, non-homophobic parents I'm not sure how they feel on regards to bisexuality. I am really lucky because I know that they will still love and support me. I was basically the equivalent of asexual/aromantic before the age of 10, I felt absolutely no kind of attraction to any sex, never had crushes or could imagine what it would be like to feel attraction or have a crush. But when I was 10 years old I had my first crush, and it was on a guy (although apart from him I still didn't feel attraction at all to any other guys or girls) and I remember talking about it to my mum and telling her "Well you never know, I mean I don't think I'm old enough yet to know for sure what sexuality I am. I mean, I know I like guys now but I could be bisexual you know?" and she frowned and told me "No I don't think so. I've always been able to tell that you are straight." When I asked her "why" she said that it was just "mother's instincts." As I believed everything my mother said I then branded myself as straight and ended up confused and questioning four years later. Also, I'm a Ravenclaw too! ---------- Post added 20th Jul 2015 at 08:46 PM ---------- Aw thank you you're really sweet. (!) Yeah the thing is that my problem isn't so much seeking distraction but being distracted. A lot of the time if I'm trying to read a book, or do schoolwork, I find that I can't concentrate because I'm thinking about my sexuality. But things that help are going on sites like this or playing piano. I have to concentrate really hard when I'm playing piano and not think about anything so I've been playing a lot more recently. ---------- Post added 20th Jul 2015 at 08:53 PM ---------- Thanks, yeah thats why I joined this site I thought it would help. One of my best friends told us she thought she might be bisexual when we were 10 and we were all fine with it and gave her hugs and told her that we don't think of her any differently .etc. and I always actually suspected that she was bisexual. But we literally have never talked to her about it since then and whenever someone brings it up she becomes really uncomfortable and awkward so I'm not sure what she is anymore. As far as I know all the rest of my best friends are straight but very supportive of LGBTQ. I have one quite close friend who doesn't go to my school anymore but last time I saw her she told me that she's questioning her sexuality and thinks that its a possibility that she's bisexual. I'm seeing her this Friday so if somehow we end up on the topic of LGBTQ then I'm just going to casually tell her.
