I have been thinking for about a year that I could be something other then straight. I have talked to my homosexual friend and she understands and supports me as she had gone through the same thing. I've never been in any relationship with either sexes. I feel attracted to a couple of guys and would very much like to be with them, the bad part is even if I am gay/bi I am nowhere near ready to come out. It would be great to know my sexuality for sure before I decide to come out at the risk of being wrong. What does this sound like? Am I curious, gay, bi or straight? I'm still trying to figure it out and I know its finding out my sexual orientation is something i should find out on my own, I just wanna hear someone else's opinion on the subject. Thanks! - TJ
Are the guys to whom you are attracted gay or bi? If you know for sure they are, broach the subject with them. Start by asking about their background, how they came out, how friends reacted, etc... eventually mentioning that you are questioning your own sexuality and ask for suggestions.
Hello AnonymousCat Its great that you have a friend who supports you and is there for you Well, it migiht be too early to say what you're sexual orientation is... What is you're age? Have you had crushes before? If you are attracted to the guys that you mention, then try spending time with them.. see how you feel... Is the attraction you feel towards guys different, less/more in comparison to girls? Or think as to what is it that attracts you in them? Hope this helps
i can really relate. i am relationship oriented and i thought, "if i can just meet a guy and fall in love, then i will know for certain i am gay and there would be no turning back to women". but i did not want to "come out" and then later find out that once in a relationship with a guy, maybe i was wrong and this sucked. i wanted to "try" before I "buy". since i am not into hooking up, my wanted to feeling the lovesick puppy emotions and have those returned to me before any sex happened. then i would know if i was really "gay or bi". well this is what i thought would work, but it did not work out like that. what i learned was that inorder for me to get to the lovesick puppy bit, i had to put myself out there, meet people, go to clubs and bars, get comfortable, join groups, tell others, etc. but that meants being "out". but wait, how could i be "out" if i was not even sure i really liked guys that much. i mean i knew i was attracted to them but what if the sex sucked and i hated it. but i also did not want to hookup prior to a relationship with an awesome guy, so it was a catch 22 since most guys i met wanted to hookup and have sex as part of the "dating" process. me, being old fashioned, i wanted to date platonically with no sex and mild kissing and other cuddling and we realized we really liked each other and were committed before sex. well nobody was interested in that. so i guess my long story short is: 1. if you think you just want to hookup with guys to see if you like the physical act of gay sex, then that's pretty easy to do with all the apps and websites these days. just be careful and wear protection and stay away from creeps. 2. if you are not sure that you can emotionally connect with other gay men or can possibly have an emotional connection with gay men, sex is not going to help you there. you will have to start to come out a bit to meet people that want more of a "real relationship". if you are attracted to men and aroused by the thought of sex or intimacy with men, then you are not straight. doesn't mean you're gay, it's just that you're not straight 100%. if you are longing for a emotional, sexual and intimate connected relationship with a man, then you're more on the gay spectrum. if you can with be with either man or woman and you're just into someone that you love, regardless of gender, you're more bi. i would not get caught up on the labels and there's no box people can put you in. but if you are tormented over a year over longing for a guy, then i think that says enough and that you need to explore this so you can move forward either way.
