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new and looking for some advice re: sexuality - would really appreciate help!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by snape, Jul 20, 2015.

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  1. snape

    snape
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2015
    Messages:
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    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    :smilewave Hey! This is my post and I'm not entirely sure what I am doing so if I'm in the wrong place, please forgive me! First of all, I'd like to introduce myself - I am a female in her early twenties just trying to get through college without having a mental breakdown!

    So anyway, I'm currently a bit confused. I have never been in a relationship with neither a girl or a guy, which I understand may seem quite strange, but I do lack in confidence quite a lot and unfortunately, have never been able to pluck up the courage to ask out, or even accept, someone as a date. I am really unsure about my sexuality, whether this is because of a lack of experience with either sex I don't know. One thing I am certain of however is that I am very attracted to women and somewhat attracted to men. I have been drawn to women ever since I was very young and some of my earliest memories revolve around attraction to particular women, for example teachers. However I also had several "crushes" on guys throughout my teens. I don't know if I am bisexual or a lesbian and have never shared what I have written in this post with anyone. I have had sexual fantasies involving both men and women - however from these I have learned that I am slightly more turned on at the prospect of having sex with men, whereas women tend to interest me on a more deeper, romantic level if this makes any sense.

    I would really appreciate some of your opinions as to what my sexual orientation is because right now I feel like :eusa_doh: I would be so grateful to anyone who replies.
     
    #1 snape, Jul 20, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
  2. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    Sounds bisexual to me.

    Being turned on by sex with men is not really a lesbian trait unless you're still in denial (which can happen too), and it is possible for a bisexual to be more romantically attracted to one sex, they can even be exclusively romantically attracted to one gender as long as they sexually desire both : P

    Of course we all say that only you can define your sexuality, I'm just here to give insight on what the experiences mean to me.
     
    #2 Fallingdown7, Jul 20, 2015
  3. timeforchange

    timeforchange Guest

    well the only person that can tell you is guess, who....YOU. that's where the fun begins. there is no right or wrong answer but the only way you will get to the answer is to date. you may find out that in the real world (not the dream fantasy world) that your attractions are flip flopped. you may find more emotional connection with men and more sexual connection with women. this is opposite to what you thought you would find. so the only way to know is to start dating. my advice is to start with one gender at a time and see how you feel. if that doesn't work for you or you are curious about the other gender, go there and start there. trying both at same time may be too much for a newbie (or anyone really). do not get caught up on the labels just see what works for you and what you like. you may find a young man that has the emotional connection of a women and the physical attraction of a man all rolled up into one. same thing for a woman. just see what you like. label yourself later or not at all.
     
    #3 timeforchange, Jul 20, 2015
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