I've been stuck in a bit of a predicament concerning my sexual orientation. I've dated several men and in my head, I've come to the conclusion that I'm gay. Problem is, all we hear on the news is stuff about religious groups shaming the LGBT community, hate crimes breaking out in cities all around the US - I don't think you need me to tell you it's hard to accept yourself when there's so much intolerance out there. Additionally, there's the notion of the HIV/AIDS epidemic which unfortunately seems to favor the gay male community. I'm at the point where I firmly believe that sooner or later, no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I too will fall victim to HIV because people are out there that will purposely attempt to transmit the virus, as well as people that are very ignorant about safe sex and getting tested regularly. I love the feelings I get when I'm with another man, so I know it's not something un-genuine - but lately, I've been finding myself depressed and feeling absolutely hopeless for the future. Are there any other gay men that actually give a darn about keeping themselves and their partners free of any STD's?
Quite a lot of us, actually. As far as various negative things being directed at LGBT people...negative things are happening all the time to all kinds of people. But so are lots of positive things. Remember that most news is based on the principle of 'if it bleeds, it leads' because that's what gets them viewers and advertising dollars - and the news is a business by and large. I would suggest that you consider spending more time watching PBS (which has some depressing things, but also it's share of uplifting things), and also that you try to meet LGBT people in social situations where you can build up positive experiences and your confidence. These could be Meetups, charity events, community center events, gay men's chorus, LGBT friendly churches, LGBT friendly political candidates, etc. As far as being safe - own it, stick to your guns, and don't let anyone pressure you away from being safe. And also, carry protection with you and/or be prepared to say 'later, when we have protection' if it ever comes down to it. Todd
And in the context of "owning your own safety," find out everything you can about PrEP and consider whether it might be appropriate for you.