There is no doubt in my mind. For a long time, I was largely unaware of my sexuality, but after over a year of pondering and finally coming out to some people I have recognized that I am homosexual in the most literal sense. That is, I feel absolutely no sexual attraction to women. At all. But I frequently find myself unintentionally admiring and checking out men. Not to mention the fact that I am most definitely sexually attracted to other guys. I increasingly want a romantic relationship with another guy. I dont feel much guilt or shame for being gay, other guys are just appealing to me. I only can't help feeling odd or inadequate or just atypical for a gay guy. This is all coming from a formerly 'normal', relatively tame, nerdy, artsy and straight-acting guy unaware of his orientation for 16 years. So, if I didn't choose to be gay (believe me it's not a choice, it's just how things are) but oddly don't mind it, I wonder how this happened. Was I really "born this way"? And if I was, how? Genetics? Hormone imbalance? Chance? It makes me wonder why I am inherently homosexual. From a scientific standpoint it's kind of an interesting dilemma. I don't really get defensive or upset about my sexuality, it's just how things are for me. I can't necessarily say I am proud to be gay either, because I didn't choose to be or try to fit in with the gay community. I kind of view myself as an anomaly, something that wasn't supposed to happen but did anyway for some reason. I really do wonder what you all have to think about this question. Why are we gay?
They say a Hormone inbalance in the womb... But, you know, they are all speculations... What is great is that you are Young, you are gay, you know that you are gay, and you don't mind!!! That is wonderful! And you are also cute on top of that!
We don't have a precise answer, yet. I guess it is genetic, but we will have to wait for a precise answer. It is highly unlikely that it is a choice, like you said.
A better question is: why wouldn't we be gay, or at least bi? and why is the proportion of heterosexuals so high? Humans are: 1)pleasure seeking 2) bond and connection seeking - we depend on bonds for loyalty to a group, cooperation, - and oxytocin, the bonding hormone is secreted during sex- so sexual activity with others is the ultimate bonding gel which keeps a group together- other primates practice same-sex activities as well. Same sex activities are also neutral or purely beneficial in terms of outcome = sexual release + affection without the not always desirable, and sometimes negative result of pregnancy of heterosexual sex. 3) Humans have an unlimited need for bonding and pleasure, and a limited need for offspring- it is only logical that we would seek out same sex activities in times when there is no need for offspring. On the other hand straight sex is 1) very resource draining- eg if we fulfilled all our human bonding needs through straight sex, soon there would be too many pregnancies for a group to be able to sustain it - our resources would be drained. 2) pregnancies and birth can be very traumatic for women- and memory of certain traumatic experiences gets transmitted genetically, so it would be not unlikely that this basically 'switches off' the part of our make-up which seeks our procreative sex- limiting all our drives exclusively to same sex. Given this, I think it more sense to ask; why are so many people exclusively straight?
I believe the most logical answer is we, as humans, are meant to repopulate, and with same sex couples you can't do that. That's why way back when homosexuality wasn't accepted, societal rejection was at its highest because back then same sex couples didn't exactly make sense, and when you're outside the norm, society ostracizes you. However as society becomes more understanding of homosexuality, or the LGBTQ+ community in general, they've come to understand that between a gay and straight person, there's nothing significantly different with them other than the fact of who they're attracted to.
Honestly I've wondered a lot too, even recently, about why exactly I am the way I am. I get that, it's just the whole question of- huh? How did this happen? How is this-? There hasn't been any definite answer, and there really isn't one so far. People have speculated but as far as I know there isn't a proven anything. Honestly I've tried to stop beating myself up over it wondering about it. It's not something people can change about themselves and sexuality isn't a choice anyways. Our sexual orientations are natural and normal and just the way it is. I don't think any straight person sits around wondering why they're straight and not something else. We are the sexuality we are, and that's okay. Really happy to hear you seem accepting and okay with yourself, that's always a good thing
Its great you are still young... have the whole life in front of you...i am very jealous of you... in my mid thirties here n still struggle with accepting myself... hopefully you will end up in a loving relationship u wish for...
