I'll try and keep this short and to the point. For the longest time I considered myself bi. I'd had girlfriends and been attracted to guys. I had a huge life enveloping crush on a guy. After I came out to a few friends as bi I started to feel the ratio of my attraction shifting more towards guys. Then when I came out to the guy I was in love with i kinda stopped being attracted to girls all together. Long story short, a load of shit went down. Me and the guy had a sexual experience (oral), he outed me (as bi) to everyone. It's a long and convoluted story in a different thread. Here's the dilemma. Sexually I feel way more attraction to guys than girls right now. However at the time of the sexual experience with the guy I didn't find it as earth shatteringly amazing as I'd hoped. I went through with everything, yet at the time I remember not enjoying it too much. I even joked to a friend after that I thought the experience turned me straight. But when I look back on it I forget how much I didn't like it at the time and I find the memory arousing. So even though I distinctly know I wasn't 100% into what we did, the thought of doing it again remains as arousing as ever. Meanwhile I'm finding myself having a diminishing desire to have sex with women. I can find them sexually attractive, but I just don't want to have sex with them. However in the back of my mind I feel like this could all be the result of recent drama in my life surrounding liking and doing stuff with a guy. I feel like once i get over this my attraction to girls may return. In pure attractiveness (just saying "he/she is hot") I find more women attractive by a wide margin. I find a lot more guys gross compared to guys I find hot than women. Itls like 80% of guys gross me out, but with girls i find fewer of them totally off putting. However guys which fit my type I find way more attractive than anyone else. It's like, most of the time I'll find a woman more appealing to look at, but guys who I find attractive I find way more attractive. Right now I'd pick I guy who I find hot over a girl I find hot 90% of the time. Yet in the back of my mind I feel like I just don't currently know any girls who fit my type in the same way that I know guys who do. But could I just be in denial? Anyone who is willing to decipher everything I just babbled and give some advice would be greatly appreciated. It was all very hard to put into words, so i apologise. Thanks in advance
I think you like men, just the way I do. What you wrote I could have written. I find way moremen repulsive than women, it is like I find 90% of men repulsive but only 30% of women. Yet, the guys I eally find attractive ae really IT!!!! Much love to you!!!
