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I came out as gay, but now I don't know if I'm gay or bi?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by akarn7, Jul 27, 2015.

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  1. akarn7

    akarn7
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    Okay, I know there's a lot of threads on this, but every story is at least a little bit different, so here's mine.

    I thought I was gay for a long time. But also for a long time, I sometimes just want to feel
    "normal" (even though I know that homosexuality is perfectly normal), and I find myself looking at boys. I know for a fact I would NEVER want to have sex with them (I get completely turned off by that fact), but I still am the kind of person that if someone gives me attention, I get excited. So, I could see myself having fun with a guy and getting butterflies and excitement, but never sleeping with them, having sex, or doing anything romantic other than flirting and small kissing. But I still find them hot, and I still get butterflies at my favorite guy celebrities, but I'm not SEXUALLY attracted to them. Just attracted to them. But girls, I am both attracted and sexually attracted to. And I know the definition of homosexuality is being sexually attracted to your sex and not the other. So I have no idea... am I bi or gay? And please no "don't worry about labels" responses because I'm the paranoid kind of person who has to have a label or else I don't feel good about myself lol!
     
    #1 akarn7, Jul 27, 2015
  2. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    As you said, this is probably not bisexuality. Bisexuality is being sexually attracted to men and wanting sex with them too.

    "Finding guys attractive" can be a normal lesbian trait, especially with how prevalent heteronormativity is.
     
    #2 Fallingdown7, Jul 27, 2015
  3. akarn7

    akarn7
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    I just look at gay guys and wish I had a relationship like that. It's like I'd feel "safer" with a guy than with a girl. I also have more in common with guys. But I just can't see myself ever having sex with one. I'm so confused! Argh!
     
    #3 akarn7, Jul 27, 2015
  4. Miss PH fan

    Miss PH fan
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    Well, you could be bisexual, only more interested in girls than boys. And that's fine, I mean, if you enjoy being surrounded by guys, and feel like kissing them, it's ok. Nobody says you have to enjoy their company AND want to have sex with them at the same time so you can officially be called "bisexual".
     
    #4 Miss PH fan, Jul 27, 2015
  5. anothergirl

    anothergirl Guest

    What you wrote there is kinda my story. I also get excited when someone gives me attention and when I meet new people that I have things in common with. I just sticked with the lesbian label just because after dating 2 guys I know I cannot have sex with them and even if I cared for them and we would've been "compatible" something was totally missing for me. I knew deep inside I would never be able to fall in love with them in the proper way. I also find some guys hot, but over the time I realized that what I feel is mostly the desire to socialize with them and getting to know people. If you think you can be romantically involved with a guy, but not sexually I think it's a label called biromantic homosexual(someone correct me if I am wrong) which means you romantically like both genders, but sexually only the same gender. However from what you said you didn't give hints that you like guys romantically, so the lesbian label suits you. It's ok to find some guys hot. You have eyes that can appreciate how good a person looks! :grin:
     
    #5 anothergirl, Jul 28, 2015
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