Confused I find in a critical situation

Hi there to everyone, I am 17 years old and although there is a whole complete story to tell (And which I am in fact telling when it is time) I will be very direct. Since I was 13 I started to like guys and started to watch gay teen porn, a very many great thing had happened but today I just finished 10th year of highschool and even though nobody notices (becuase it seems everyone is heterosexual or at least they are sure about it, and they don´t really have a problem with who they like) I realize that this year and the next one are the most important years in which I will define my sexual orientation and how to deal with it in the best possible way as something simply normal as it should be, all this because I If I am gay I will not live with fear, so then I became a depressed man...

So all how it is: When I was in 6th year I had a "gay" experience with a classmate, indeed we were very young (even more than you think I already am) and it could have meant nothing, but it didn´t... In middle school I always fancied boys and always jerked off thinking on them I really found them really attractive... I was once asked if I was gay, and then I didn´t answer nothing I was surprised I wasnt sure about what, but that silence meant many thing by then I didn´t understand I was 15 but by then I was conscious of who I liked and what it meant

This first High School year I met a boy, now he is 17 and so am I; we began to know each other, along in the year: and without knowing it, that happened: we met and he is gay, throughout the year I became aware I found boys, cute, handsome and quite very sexually attractive I realized that when they looked at a girl watching her legs, I looked at them looking their legs, when they looked a girl´s butt I looked at a boy´s one , and when they talked about how much they would like to taste a vagina and the breasts (because that is what they like in the sexual physical aspect and it is okay) when they did I realized how much I would like to suck what was beneath their pants and their underwear and to touch their bottoms while kissing him.

On one of the last days of school I kissed him and I touched his penis and he touched my butt, we kissed soflty and felt personally something I would have never with any girl (Becuase I never found them attractive or felt anything for them) I also realized whenever I looked a guy I felt nervous, strange, I liked the hair, the eyes, the hands, the whole body and mostly the butt, the chest and the penis

Yesterday I went to his house, just entered and we kissed... in a different way I fell on my knees lowered his pants and underwear and started to suck his cock (All was so quickly, what most surprised me was that I stopped until he came out) after it we were very horny, but he told me to stop, that we must do this differently I didn´t catch that but then the idea of coming out appeared in his mouth I mean he was sure of what he was but I left his house and coudn´t stop thinking if I was sure of being 100% gay, what I did that evening was something that stepped out naturally but my feelings are turning and turning around again and again. I like him I really do but I am asking myself if it is just physically (the sexual part which my brain has determined) or also sentimentally (what my heart is trying to tell me, with all these feelings, if there is actual kind of love, caring for him, becuase what caught me more than his body was his personality, I find him cute, unique and some other things...) when thinking about it I´d like to hold a relation with him but admitting my homosexuality fully is the problem. the QUESTION is: how can I separate these two parts to see clearer and then if I actually am how to come out... I think there is no time to lose... thanks.