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Is it normal to doubt your label after coming out?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ConfusedPoet, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. ConfusedPoet

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    I've been questioning my sexuality for as long as I can remember, and for as long as I can remember I've felt an attraction to people of all genders. I mean, when I found out that girls could get married to each other when I was younger (yay marriage equality!) I immediately told all my friends how happy I was because one day I could marry one of my best friends if I wanted and that I could marry whoever I wanted.

    Recently, I began really thinking about it and came to terms with me being bisexual/pansexual (not sure between the two yet, so I just kind of like using both) and have come out to some people. Suddenly though, I've begun worrying that I'm a fake and that I may be wrong about myself. I never ever had these doubts until now, and I just want to know if anyone else understands this or has gone through this?
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    Hey ConfusedPoet,

    Do you feel attracted to men? Do you feel attracted to women? Sexually, romantically?

    Think about your feelings and attractions, and don't rush yourself. Take your time.

    If you feel attraction to both genders, then you are probably bisexual.

    Hugs
     
  3. OfTheKokiri

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    Perfectly normal! I found when I came out to some people I would say bisexual, but then I would go into this explanation of how its mostly leaning towards guys and that it was only sexual attraction towards girls but not romantically where with guys it's both.

    It got to the point where I realized that it was for my own benefit when I started to ramble a bit becuase I was still unsure. Sometimes describing emotions is difficult and your worried that people might get the wrong impression.

    But that's okay! I'm a bit more relaxed with the whole labeling thing because I realize it can be a process and feelings can change over time.
     
  4. Lipstick Leuger

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    Yes.

    We all doubt ourselves after and before we come out. Sometimes, we even wonder if we really are gay/bi/lesbian/pan(insert label here)...

    It's normal due to the society we grow up in is heterosexual.
     
  5. Lyana

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    It happens.
    A lot of people have doubts before coming out. Sometimes they're scared to come out because what if they're wrong? You're experiencing the same thing, but after you've already come out: what if you're wrong? You don't want to have come out for nothing, or to have to tell people that, oh wait, you're actually straight.
    Doubts happen. You're really not alone.

    The first time I came out, I was worried immediately after. What if I was wrong? But I wasn't. I definitely wasn't. The doubts will fade with time.
    Besides, what if you are wrong? So what? Everyone can make mistakes.
     
  6. grungeteen

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    It's definitely normal to doubt yourself and it's okay to be worried about giving yourself the wrong label because it's always okay to change it :slight_smile: It takes time to figure out who you are and you will eventually
     
  7. Asdf333

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    It's absolutely fine feeling the way you do :3 Don't worry about labels too much, because in the end you're simply you. So don't worry about possibly being a "fake" as you called it and just take yourself as much time as you need to discover yourself :3 Surely when you find the right guy/girl/inbetween/neither/etc. you'll know how you feel about them~
     
  8. Ryu

    Ryu
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    Yup.

    When I came to terms with my orientation, I questioned myself further, am I really Asexual or gay or demi or whatever but in denial. Then I realised who cares and got on with my life. If you aren't comfortable now, leave it a while and it'll come to you.
     
  9. thewolf

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    I imagine so. I'm afraid to come out as bi for fear of being a "confused teen girl".

    BT
     
  10. MrSkittles

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    Yes. After I came out as gay I was doubting if I used the right label and it lead to me questioning my sexuality again. I am still a little unsure if gay is the right label for me.