Hi everyone Just in need of a vent right now because this has been kind of upsetting me lately. I'm a 21 year old girl in an amazing relationship with a great guy. I also identify as transmasculine and like to pass as a boy - something he isn't completely comfortable with but accepts non-the-less. My problem is that I've been questioning myself for a while now. I love my boyfriend, he's a wonderful guy and makes me so happy... But I've been feeling guilty because I keep having thoughts about being with a girl. It's something that's been on my mind for a long time. I really like demiboys/ transmasculine girls like myself and love the idea of being in a relationship with one. I've never been a sexual person and don't really feel attraction towards people. As long as we have a connection and are on the same wave-length emotionally I'm happy, so I guess it makes sense that gender doesn't matter to me in a partner. That being said, I still feel guilty for having these thoughts when I'm already in a great relationship. I love my boyfriend and would never leave him over something like this. I just can't stop thinking about having a girlfriend and wondering if I'm missing out on something Is this normal? Am I right to feel bad? I feel like I don't deserve my boyfriend, he should be with someone who never has thoughts like this :tears::icon_sad:
Lots of people have thought/fantasies other than the person they are with. I'm actually reading a book about it now called My Secret Garden. It's pretty old (40ish years) so the language and lgbt/racial terms are outdated/offensive, but it's been really interesting to learn about what other women think about.
