Is it natural to find sexual attraction mostly to women but sometimes feel no sexual attraction at all? I feel like my sexual attraction is not consistent. It also doesn't match up with my romantic feelings in my mind. Is this normal and why are all these feelings so inconsistent. I feel like what I think I want is completely different than my actions...
A possible cause for the inconsistencies is shame. You state in your bio you are questioning. So you are kind of caught in the "chicken and the egg" situation - cant discover who you really are until you explore, cant explore who you are until you discover. I guess try date, talk, discover. Later
I wouldn't say that inconsistency is unnatural, I mean even for me personally the intensity of my sexual attraction towards women varies; some days I'm just not in the mood, nor is my body, or my mind, etc- and some days it's the complete opposite. But the bottom line is I am attracted to women, even if my libido or whatever, fluctuates. So I don't know- I personally don't think it's unnatural at this stage, and as you are questioning feel free to explore it. Sometimes it takes time and sometimes you realize more of your feelings later on, especially if any attractions you've felt in the past have been buried or repressed before (either unconsciously or consciously). I think what you want is important. Sometimes actions are limited and constrained by the context/environment we're in, and sometimes they don't necessarily allign with our desires- I for one tried to chase after guys for ages, guys who were my friends and who I had no interest in sexually or romantically-Namely one time during prom season because I wasn't able to ask the girl I really liked out, I felt pressured to go with a guy. Some inconsistency between want/action can happen. What you want/who you are attracted to, that is inside and that is important. Take your time and good luck
Thank you both so much. I can see how environment can play a role since my dad is a complete homophobe and I'm a very anti-social girl so most of the time actually going out and trying to flirt/date people is difficult no matter who it is. I guess I really just have to wait, hope its worth it in the end.
My feelings are weird, this is the first time I've ever mentioned this or even wrote it down. I'm happily married to a man I find really attractive, I love sex with him. I have beautiful children. some days I feel totally straight and other days I fancy women as well as my husband..is this normal? I can be a raging bi sexual woman one day and completely in love with my husband. My husband knows and understands. My close women friends, i couldn't even think about in that way..that's were its strange. It almost disgusts me. If a woman asked me, my husband wouldnt mind..obviously for selfish reasons of him..but i would if she was willing...but i dont find women attractive that i meet, unless they make a sexual advantage toward me and then i think, why not...I just don't understand. Im in my thirties and utterly confused. Any advice? Am i weird?
You're definitely not weird! You love your husband but you just find women attractive sometimes and thats completely normal. You can label yourself a bisexual but if you feel that some days you're not into the same-sex it could either be that YOU feel shameful about it or that only some women attract you. If you want to explore this feeling that comes and goes ask your husband and see what you both can do to figure things out. If you enjoy being with a woman but still want to identify as straight its totally up to you. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. Thats why there are labels such as hetero-flexible. Sexuality is fluid, I hope this helps girl!
