For a year and a bit I've been questioning. I've had some huge girl crushes but at first I thought every girl went through it. I then fell for my friend. I started checking girls out in halls on beaches etc. Ive come out to 3 friends and they've all been okay with it. I want to come out to others but I'm only like 89% sure I'm gay and I'm scared I'll come out and be wrong. How do I know for sure?
Hi Emylie, If you know you've had crushes on girls, and have fallen for a female friend of yours, it's safe to say you're attracted to girls, isn't it? 89% sure is already a lot. The other 11% will come eventually: with time, or with your first experiences. The first thing you need to know is that you're probably not wrong, but even if you were, it's fine. You're allowed to make mistakes. A friend of mine used to think he was bisexual. He dated girls and guys for a while. Later, he realized he was gay. So yeah, he was wrong before, but he figured it out, and he's fine now. I took it in stride when he told me he had changed how he identified, and anyone who truly supports you should do the same. The next thing to do is identify why you're unsure. Is there any attraction to guys? Is it just that you feel you should have realized earlier? Is it because you've never kissed a girl, so you're not sure you'd enjoy it? Once you know where the uncertainty is coming from, you can address it and hopefully become more confident. (PS: if you identify as a girl you might want to think of changing your gender marker on this forum! Go to "Quick Links" --> "Edit your details" and somewhere down the page there's an option to change your gender.)
