I've been thinking about this lately, but as simple as that- if you do feel romantic attraction, what does romantic attraction feel like to you? How do you feel about the other person?
Ah, but no. Not so simple as that, since the question in your title is very different from the question in your post! Being in love isn't the same thing as experiencing romantic attraction. We get the "love" question frequently, so I'm not going to wax poetic on this one. I'm afraid for me it's been "I just know when I feel it." You think about someone and you know, you see that person and you know, you hear that person's voice and you know. Right now I'm still in the relatively early stages (7 months in) with someone, so the love still feels like a thrill whenever I see her. It's also knowing that she's amazing, even if she's not perfect; that I don't want to change her, I just want her to be herself; that I want her to be happy, and it hurts when she isn't; that, right now, I can't imagine not wanting to be with her. We feel a lot of empathy for each other. Plus I miss her like hell, since we're long-distance over the summer. To me, "in love" also comes after we know each other enough, which means time (and other things). I couldn't say I was "in love" with someone within weeks of meeting them, even if we'd talked non-stop during those weeks. I need the security of knowing we actually like each other enough to enjoy each other's company long term (well, longer than a few weeks) before accepting love. Romantic attraction is a whole other story. I was romantically attracted to my girlfriend before I began dating her, and certainly before I knew I was in love. I had a huge crush on her that was both sexual and romantic, so it's hard for me to separate the two in this case. I was very aware of her presence, I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to date her, I wanted to touch her a lot -- I would reach out and touch her arm if she was wearing a bracelet, reach out and touch her face if she had a scratch, reach out and touch her hair if it was sticking up --, looking at her made me smile, making her laugh made me happy.
Ahh thanks for the insight! I guess I never really thought about the difference between romantic attraction and being in love? What really is the difference? I'm assuming you can feel romantic attraction prior to being in love but that romantic attraction is a component of being in love with someone...that's just my guess. So initial romantic attraction is like a crush, maybe it goes further than that- like you want to date them, take care of them, make them happy? Then afterwards what's the difference between that and being in love? I know I liked this girl before and I definitely felt romantic feelings for her. And I generally thought that I was in love with her even though we never dated; I would've probably gone to the moon and back for her. But recently I've been kind of thinking about all this because I don't really remember exactly how it felt like, and whether it might feel different for everyone.
I find it hard to describe what love feels like to me. To me, being in love with someone is to want to be with someone and share your life with them. You think of them before you go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning. Being away from them for too long makes you sad and your world always feels a little brighter when they are nearby.
You crave that person in every single possible way. You will feel full but you'll keep wanting more of them. "Romantic love is so much more than a cocaine high, at least you come down from cocaine." - Helen Fisher from a Ted Talk. [YOUTUBE]OYfoGTIG7pY[/YOUTUBE] "Helen Fisher: The brain in love" I could have responded to this thread with pages of my own experience, making it sappy but I feel like this simplifies it.
I think being in love is when you really care for the other person's well-being, try to keep them happy (while making sure you aren't sacrificing your own happiness), and wanting to be with them and see them doing well.
Well, like I said, mackenziesr, for me (and this is personal), "in love" means it has to withstand the test of time. I can be romantically attracted to someone I haven't known for so long -- yes, like having a crush --, but the first time I fell in love it was with my best friend, so it was someone I really knew. And I feel comfortable labelling it love because the feelings lasted for three years. And yes, I definitely think it's different for everyone.
Love for me is wanting someone else's happiness irrelevant to my own. Their happiness alone makes me happy.
What does it 'feel' like? When you see their face you can't help but smile... their skin is warmer than anyone else you have ever touched... you can feel an electrical tingle coming from them when you do. When you hold them close to you it feels like time slows to a crawl, but even then you dread the moment you have to let go. You wouldn't think their lips could feel that soft, yet there is an energy that comes from them that recharges you... The feeling you get in your chest and the top of your arms is magnetic... like gravity pulling 2 pieces of an object together that isn't meant to be seperated... Love when it is not returned is like there's a gaping hole in your chest. Your heart aches and you can feel it in your eyes when you close them, they feel weary... like a moon that has escaped the orbit of a planet... you need it but it's gone... even though it may never have been there in the first place I often wish I couldn't feel love because then it wouldn't hurt... but I know I would rather feel this way than nothing at all... even a miserable love is beautiful... and you fool yourself with the hope that someday it might be returned...
