Hey guys, I just want to say thank you for all the advice and support I've had. I only joined the site a few days ago and already, I feel more confident about myself. I was just curious about how long it took for you, from the moment you realised that you're gay/lesbian/bi etc, to come to terms with it 100%. I don't know about anyone else but in my head, it makes sense that I'm at least bi but saying it out loud feels really weird and its almost like I can't quite bring myself to say it. Anyone else feel like this?
I feel exactly the same! Recently I've started to try to allow myself to think about my feelings and I've come to the realisation that I could at the very least potentially be bi-sexual but it just feels totally strange saying out loud. I can't bring myself to say "I definitely like this girl" or "I think i've got feelings for this girl". And I guess the biggest thing I'm worried about is actually not being the label that I place for myself and it scares me because, if i'm not that label then who am I?
I feel like it's no one else's business but mine. I've been questioning too (which I thought was just recently but now that I think back, I've been questioning for a long time on and off). At first, I was so obsessed with labeling myself. Am I bi? Am I am lesbian? Am I straight? It was getting ridiculous so I just decided to be me and not label my feelings. Since then, I've felt a lot more comfortable with myself. Someone asked me recently if I would prefer to marry a man or a woman and I had to say I'll marry whoever I fall in love with. I don't care what gender they are, I care that they are a kind person who loves me with all their heart and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I've recently accepted that I'm not straight but I don' think I fit into a certain label. I dont think I'm completely gay but saying I'm bi doesn't feel 100% right but I'm not going to pressure myself into picking a label. I kinda have the same attitude as you, where if I fall in love with a man, that's fine or if I fall in love with a women, that's fine also.
I don't think I'll ever be 100% sure what sexuality I have, and that's sort of okay with me. If I like someone, I like them, and if I don't, I don't. Regardless of gender. Also, I'm not 100% comfortable saying it out loud although I hope to one day be. Idontknoooow, something just feels awkward when I do say it out loud. But, I have come to terms with the fact that I'm not straight a long time ago.
This is just how I feel. It's so frustrating to not have a label. I'm trying to stay comfortable with where I'm at right now with things, but sometimes I feel like if I end up not being gay nothing will make sense...and that scares me. But I don't want to force myself into a label I don't actually belong to and then realize my mistake way later.
For some people it's quite a quick process, for some it takes much longer, which is sort of given I suppose. I'm not sure what would qualify as "coming to terms with it 100%" because I don't think I'm even quite there yet. But I'm in a better state of mind, and it took slightly more than a year (if you count from the time I started genuinely questioning and consciously trying to figure stuff out), or like two, three years, if you count from when I first started having conscious inklings of "okay...so I might not be straight." It's okay to feel the way you're feeling right now. Give it some time, give yourself some time to accept who you are, and grow comfortable with it and explore it. Good luck!
