For the last year or so I have been questioning my romantic and sexual feelings. I have a huge crush on a girl in my squash team and it has been driving me insane and making me question if I am attracted to men at all. I have always been more drawn to women although I think as a child I subconsciously suppressed this attraction. I was lucky enough to be brought up in an entirely accepting environment so I was never afraid of being gay however I do have reservations. I came out to my best friend as "confused" I suppose, and as a result she is confused by my confusion, however is incredibly supportive. I have "liked" guys that paid attention to me but was never attracted to any that didn't and I haven't felt that kind of attraction in at least 6 years however I have felt it for girls/ women multiple times and I have always felt more of a romantic connection with girls/women. I am not sure if this makes sense but if there was a spectrum and 1 is 100% straight, 5 is 50:50 men:women and 10 is 100% gay I am about a 7.5->8.5. In my head women are like a big gold shimmery gold section and men are like a small red section. I struggle with applying a label to my situation because it feels unique although I am sure it has a lot in common with other people's situation. I want a label though, I wish it were as easy as saying straight or gay or bisexual. I was thinking of going with gay with occasional heterosexual tendencies. Coming out seems like such an emotional rollercoaster I am not sure if I can deal with coming out in a high school environment.:help:
Hi Whirlwind, Have you heard of the Kinsey scale? It's far from the only representation of sexual orientations, but you made me think of it, since you mentioned a spectrum. It goes from 0 to 6 with 0 being completely straight, 3 being 50/50 bisexual, and 6 being completely gay. The point is that many people fall somewhere on the scale, and not necessarily at its extremities. You're not alone. As for labels, if you're not comfortable calling yourself either gay or bi, a Kinsey number could work, or something like homoflexible, or bi with a preference for women. Coming out can be tough, yes. Don't feel pressured to come out until you're ready.
