Hey! Just wondered if anyone else felt like this? I spent most of my life (until 18) assuming I was straight because it's the default option. I never got crushes on boys or girls at all. It wasn't until around 18 that I realised I had a sexual attraction to guys via porn unfortunately. This prompted me to start looking at guys in a sexual way and everything has kind of come from that. I'm definitely gay. After a year or so I slowly came out and I've met a lot more gay people and got pretty comfortable with who I am. However, one thing sticks out. I've still not really had what I'd describe as a proper crush. I've had a connection to a few guys, but none that I couldn't shrug off relatively easily when it didn't work out - even one I was (and am still!) living with that is straight. I'm around this guy all the time and I simply feel nothing more than friends with him any more. When I did have a small crush, I'd get excited when he messaged me and little things like that, but nothing huge. I wasn't totally upset when I found out he was straight. I was probably a bit sad but it went within a few days. I've not felt anything whatsoever for a girl (sexual or romantic). This isn't really a complaint. I know plenty of people who get sucked into relationships and are totally distraught when it doesn't work out or ends or something. I've never actually been in a proper relationship I'm not saying I'm completely aromantic though. I certainly wouldn't identify that way. I just seem to be capable of losing interest more easily than most. Interestingly, my parents often talk about how they didn't fall in love in the conventional sense. They sort of built up a connection pretty slowly but never totally fell for each other. They love each other but it wasn't a powerful attraction to begin with. Maybe this is where I get it from? I just need one of those connections to build into something more and it'll work out.
I'm in the same exact boat, so I can't help you out too much. I had more little crushes on guys when I thought I was straight, than now to girls when I know I'm gay. But personally speaking, I haven't met many other queer girls to even spark an interest in. Maybe you just need to meet more people? I totally agree with what you said about your parents, building relationships over time. I'd try not to force anything, and just slowly get to know others. Best of luck!
It will just take time. I'm not very good at relationships and that might have to do with the fact that I am still working through some things but... It will just take time. I promise that one day you are going to meet someone and you are going to feel like this light has shown down and opened your eyes and you are going to be like "where have you been all my life!" It will happen just be patient.
