I'm planning on joining an LGBT group in my college this fall. I want to join because it's a good way to be more socially active in college and because I want to meet LGBT students. But there's one thing that's holding me back: I don't know what my sexual orientation is. I previously thought I was straight, but now I think I might be bisexual but I'm still not entirely sure. If they ask me about my sexuality how should I respond? I'm scared to admit I'm questioning my sexuality. If I tell them I'm questioning they might make fun of me because it's taken me so long to realize I might not be straight. But if I tell them I'm bisexual and it turns out to be just a phase, they'll think I'm a poser or that I was pretending to be bisexual to seek attention. Should I tell them I'm bisexual and hope for the best? Should I say I'm a straight ally until I know exactly what I am? Should I try to go without a label? Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi there. Joining an LGBT group should be the one safe space that has the absolute least amount of judgment on peoples' sexuality. Sure people are more "comfortable" with labels, because they can fit you into a tiny neat box in their mind. All of a sudden, when you're "questioning", there no longer is a label, so they'll go ahead and assign you one. It's sad but often true. That's why the term queer exists, as an attempt to brush off the labeling. Unfortunately, people still associate queer with being gay. If I were in your place, I'd go and present myself exactly as I am: questioning. Something as simple as "I'm still questioning my sexuality, I don't know which category I belong to yet, hoping that I can get a bit more insight in this group." If you say you're something you're not in one of the groups you're supposed to feel most welcome in, I'm guessing it won't feel so good. LGBT groups are not a pageant after all, they're a group for people with similar struggles to share and learn.
Thanks for the response. I know that lgbt groups are supposed to be a safe place, but I still have that little fear that they wouldn't accept me because I'm technically not "one of them". And like you said, there's also the fear that they would try to give me a label I know doesn't fit. But I'll try to be honest and tell them that I'm trying to figure out my sexuality. I'm a little nervous though because I never told anyone in person that I'm questioning. The only people who know are the ones who have read my posts on the forum. But I want to be honest with myself because I know I wouldn't be comfortable pretending to be someone I'm not.
