Hi, guys. A year ago I realised I was gay, but after few months, I finally accepted my sexuality and was happy about what I am. I’m out to two friends. However, about a month ago I was watching a music video, where was a lot of women in bikini and I felt some arousal. And after that I started freaking out. I started ruminating about my sexuality, having thoughts about sudden ‘turning’ straight, checking my reactions to gay and straight porn/erotica/whatever. On Facebook, I stop at nearly every photo of a girl in bikini, having a twinge of anxiety. And I started to feel aroused (?), especially if we’re talking about the groinal area, by things I’d never think about. Also, I found me not being so aroused by things I was always attracted to (Well, I'd feel aroused by even just a month ago!). This sudden anxiety is destroying me, it was so unexpected. And now my question: do you think it’s SO OCD or I’m just straight/bi or whatever? What should I do? PS: Sorry if my grammar isn’t perfect.
Hi there, Although I doubt that somebody's core sexual identity can change, I do believe that for some people there does exist a degree of flexibility. If this happened with me, I would take it as a new discovery instead of feeling overly confused about it. If it is really confusing, I would say: don't fight it, just feel it. Go with it's flow. What direction is this confusion taking you? Are you discovering new things about yourself that you weren't aware of before? Every new discovery about you will eventually benefit you in the long-run, because you'd be more in touch with who you are. If you want a definition, I would say "gay but questioning".
Eh, maybe I could write it better, but it was an impuls . You know, it's not like "Mhmm, I'm looking at a pretty woman, she's so hot", it's rather like "There was a picture of a gril. Did I found her attractive? Oh God, i think (I think xd the word "think" is very important here) I just felt some arousal! Does it mean I'm straight? Or maybe i'm just turning straight? What if I was always straight and I just have made believe I'm gay? How can I know it..." etc. etc. Anyway, my "checking" it's kinda compulsive, and my arousal isn't really pleasurable. Anyway, I used to have some problems with different kinds of OCD, so i think it's just SO OCD. What do u think about it, guys?
One of my exes had moderately severe OCD and would sometimes panic that she was straight or not gay. If you are prone to OCD or OCD-ish thoughts then it can happen about anything.
