I have to force myself straight!

So your saying not only should all those people who make LGBT people, and you feel oppressed, be the ones oppressing us, but you should also oppress yourself? Good luck with that making you happier. I'm afraid forgetting your problems doesn't make them magically disappear. I know life (and especially high school) can really suck sometimes but when has giving up really solved a big problem?

 

Tried it, doesn't work my friend. It sucks, but once you learn something about yourself you can't make it go away, the only thing you can do is hurt yourself much more than any homophobe can.

You can give up-try to hide yourself, face years of repression and feeling your very soul being eaten away as you try to kill a part of yourself and time after time fail, one day you probably end up trying to kill yourself, maybe you succeed.
Or. You can accept yourself, become PROUD of who you are, and when you're able to, come out as the proudest outest bi-motherfucking-sexual there is and fight to make this world a better place for others who are stuck in the position you were in.

 

Sorry to be so blunt right off the bat but you've lost it friend. You actually want to change who you are to conform with what others think is right? I mean, seriously?! Look, suppressing who you truly are is borderline self destructive. Think about this: what would the definition of individuality be if everyone assimilated into the rest of the "common herd." Everybody would be miserable and uninteresting. And that would be a shame because you seem like an interesting person. Anyway, you go ahead and do what you want but I think you're being irrational.

Now as for homophobes; if they hate you, they're not worth the time and effort to win their acceptance. You claim you "have to" force yourself straight. What you really have to do is accept who you really are. That is the only way you'll feel satisfied and not chained down in life. Trust me.

 

While I don't believe that to deny your sexuality would be a good idea, staying in the closet and being selective about who you come out to in self-preservation is always a good idea, especially if you have a homophobic family. You can do this without denying who you are. I speak from experience.

If you're able to, there are LGBT centers you could go to that offer support and valuable resources. Your school might even have an LGBT group, but you don't have to join if you think that this would be too risky.

 

I can't judge you if you make that choice, although I would argue it is not the choice of being straight just staying in the closet. There are legitimate reasons for a person to stay in the closet.

However I will say that from what I've seen, going into the closet doesnt work. The perfect metaphore being pandora's box. Opening it is easy, so easy it can be done even by accident. Putting everything back in and closing it though is far more difficult. Secrets do not want to be kept.

 

You cannot possibly force yourself straight. You're not omnipotent. You can't alter your sexual orientation. You don't have to act on it. BUt you can't change it.

And running away is not healthy for you and it will not make any of your internal problems go away.

 

Good luck I am crying for u

 

As already mentioned, I think that if you look for LGBT centers in your area that could really help. Just being able to go be around other people who are facing similar struggles and being able to tell someone could relieve some of the pain and stress.

One of my favorite quotes is "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." I know that is a billion times easier said than done, but maybe your current friends and girlfriend aren't really the people you want to be closest to in your life?

Anyway, I hope you can find people who can help show you you are loved and supported.

 

Okay, let me just be brutally honest, I have a feeling you're going to ignore advice and live unhappily suppressing yourself anyways.

Firstly, it's unfortunate that your family may be that way, however, it's about you being happy. You being able to live the life you want, not what they would accept. I happen to know someone who detached themselves from their family to be able to live with their significant other and they are happier than they've ever been because they can just be themselves. And they met people who supported them down the line.

You can't force yourself to be straight, it doesn't work that way. You either are or you aren't. Now this brings me to number two, you need new friends. Or you need other friends who would support you, and if your current ones dont when you come out to them, then they aren't friends. Real friends, yes true friends will accept you for who you are, they will want you to be happy - they will try to understand, try to help you. I happen to have some of these in my life, really good friends who would be there for me no matter what so I am lucky, you may not know any such person now, but this is what you should surround yourself with.

I think for you you need to look at the bigger picture, you're afraid to lose everyone and everything at the expense of you being unhappy. And over time throughout the years it will weigh on you, you'll want to be yourself even more. You may even want to be with the same sex. Not only will you possibly hurt yourself, but the person you are forcing yourself to be with in a relationship. While you could truly be bi, you don't know what you'll want or be attracted to in the future. You need to have higher standards of the people surrounding you.

You might have to be uncomfortable for a while, lonely for a bit, but keep in mind you are trying to set yourself up to be happy in the future. Don't let anyone stop you from being who you are, and understand they aren't worth it. I would ultimately tell your family someday, if even just so you know their reactions and what you are dealing with. You said you are attracted to the same sex a little more than the opposing, therefor, that is honestly something you should be able to explore. You could be happier that way. But please, the fear is going to eat you up inside.

 

Hello,

My question to you is do you want to be straight? So if your family and society was accepting, would you still want it? If so, then I see no problem with that - I believe if you can't force someone to 'change' their sexuality, you can't force them to conform to it either, even if the biology doesn't change. However, if it's going to make your life miserable having to try to appear straight then I suggest don't. You could grow older, move out and get a good job - become financially independent. Then you could get a boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever you want without the stigma of your family as you wouldn't need them.

 

I went through 10 years of denying my sexuality and it made me so unhappy. I didn't want to be gay. But gay is what I am. By ignoring who you're really attracted to, you're Robbi g yourself of happiness.

Like others have said, you might to remain closeted to protect yourself for the time being, possibly until you're done school and have a job. Just because you know you're bi doesn't mean you have to tell anyone in person. You'll need "friends" to get through this next phase of your life even if some of them are faux friends. How are your friends & family homphobic?

You can continue to talk to us for support, there are also a lot of lgbt media to help you from books and novels, TV shows & documentaries, movies, plus the people on this forum and others you'll meet in real life. I can recommend some things to check out if you'd like. If you'd like to talk more, feel free to write me on my wall.

 

Double post, please delete

 

focus on being ok with who you know who you are and love that part of yourself first(*hug*)

 

good luck with that. i made the same decision, for similar reasons, at your age. i finally came out to myself at 47......

 

Oh, I don't think that'll work, not in the long term anyways. Trying to bury a part of yourself will only hurt you more because you're forcing yourself into denial. I know how hard it must seem right now (I'm the same age as you, actually). High school is really rough and I have no doubt that that is contributing to your decision, and it's perfectly reasonable to stay in the closet if you don't feel safe coming out, just don't try to change who you are. It has never ended well.

It sounds like you have painted a picture for yourself that if you 'force yourself straight' as you say, all your problems will go away. That is NOT TRUE. You will only hurt yourself and make your problems worse by trying to bury yourself.