Well I have posted before that first I wasn't sure If I was gay or not because I always liked girls but suddenly started noticing boys and I almost always masturbate to gay porn... Then I had my first hook up with a guy when I was 15 (I know I was so young) and didn't like it... so I thought –hey! maybe i'm straight after all... but then I grew older and had my first girlfriend, we didn't have sex but lots of great foreplay and that was way better than the experience I had with the guy. Later when I broke up with her, I had another encounter with another guy, at first it was exciting, but when we got to the action I didn't like that either. Well, to resume things, I've had 4 hookups with guys I met online, the first 3 times I was just having oral sex and with the last one I did have anal sex, I was the top and he the bottom (obviously I did this with a condom, safety first). The thing is, I'm so confused, everything started as a way of experimenting to see if I really liked men as I'm so turned on by watching gay porn and "remembering" my hookups, while I didn't enjoy any of them as much as just the foreplay I had with my girlfriend. I have thought that maybe as some people say, I'm the type of guy that need an emotional connection with the person I'm having sex with, but I don't really want or see myself dating a man or wanting to have a boyfriend... sooooo that is why I'm a mess with my orientation... I know I shouldn't be worrying myself with labels, but my worst fear is to end up married with a woman and still wanting to have experiences with guys, even tho I don't actually enjoy them. Please help me figure my feelings out...:bang:
You may want to look into heteromantic homosexual? Not too sure. Though let me tell you, it's 100% okay to not enjoy sex, maybe its just not your thing. There's also a chance you can find a girl who's okay with an open relationship! Which would mean you could have flings or romantic encounters and she'd be 100% okay with it, though this also requires a lot of communication and trust.
I know what you mean, but I do enjoy sex or at least I think I do. When I was with my ex-girlfriend, she turned me on like crazy, we kissed, "Dry humped", touched eachother's privates as in a way of waiting to the main event, but sadly (or luckily, depending de point of view) the relationship didn't last long enough to get to that, so I couldn't say if I enjoy sex with women, on the other hand, when I'm in a relationship I'm not the type of guy that would like an open relationship or had a tendency to cheat and what I meant on my post is that I'm afraid of keep having desires or fantasies towards men, even If when I've been with them I didn't enjoy... Maybe I should leave fantasies where they belong and not feel like if I jerk off to gay porn or fantasise about them I should call myself gay... omg I actually despise myself right know hahaha, these mental woes make me feel like an outcast :eusa_doh::icon_sad:
