Hi all i hope everybody is set for another weekend. I need help i have being battling this in my head for a few years. I have a girlfriend off 8 years and a 5 year old daughter. I love my girlfriend but about 4 years ago i started getting feelings about men and looking at gay porn etc and fantasying about being with blokes. Well 2 years ago i had my first gay encounter and i quite liked it and i have being on websites talking to other blokes about gay stuff that we would like to do with eachother and i would like to meet up but i can't bring myself to hurt my girlfriend. I am afraid to what would happing to me if i am gay or bisexual and i can't stop thinking about blokes in a sexual way. I don't know what to do. I love and care my girlfriend so much but just battling with this for years. I hope you can help me. :help: (&&&)
Explore your thoughts on this. Do you still love your girlfriend or have any emotional attachment to her? How has she reacted to other LGBT people, especially men? Do you have an LGBT support center in your area? I recommend seeing if there is a group for questioning/bi people or those in opposite sex relationships. I strongly recommend counseling so you can talk some of your feelings out. Find an affirming counselor who will listen.
Personally I think honesty is the most important thing. I told my (now ex-gf) very early in the relationship of my questioning. I thought back then I would always be able to keep it in check. Since then we had 3 girls and I can't remember how long ago I told them of my past. I'd like to think my openness helped them to become the incredible, open minded young women that they are surely becoming. Now after 14 1/2 years our relationship ended two months ago. Even having been honest, I have gotten more than my fair share of hostility and been called fag more times than I can count. And that is without the added sting of actual infidelity. Its imperative to do whatever soul-searching that you must do to truly figure out what you want. The longer you wait, the more pain all of this will cause.
You've gotta weigh your options. Obviously your girlfriend and daughter are really important to you, but you also want to explore your sexuality and stuff. You should really tell your girlfriend whats happened already and whats on your mind, hopefully she'll be understanding. It kind of sounds like a break would be the best thing for your situation, and unless your girlfriend turns out to be completely biphobic you should definitely do your best to keep in contact with her as well as your daughter. Also, research a lot about what it means to be bi, it can help a lot Good luck Also, the absolute worst possible thing that you could possibly do is keep this a secret from your girlfriend and/or continue to get emotionally and sexually involved with other people while you're still dating her.
