Hello, So I guess I'll just skip introductions and cut right to the chase. There's this guy that I do like, and he's someone who used to go to the same high school as me. We are both in college now, and we both go to different colleges that are about an hour away from each other. The thing is, I have no idea if he is gay or not. He has had girlfriends in the past, however, there are a lot of closeted gay guys who have had girlfriends during their teen years. Back in high school, him and I never really spoke a whole lot to each other. We mainly knew each other because he used to attend the same martial arts class as me. The thing is, he could be gay, but he also could be straight. There are some signals from my "gaydar" that I get from him such as his love of musical theater and the fact that he does have a case of "gay face". However, there's a lot of straight guys who have those characteristics as well. We just started reconnecting through Facebook, and talking a lot on there. He tends to respond to my messages with fairly lengthy responses, which tends to show me that he is interested in the conversation. I almost never talk to guys on Facebook who respond to my messages with more than two sentences. We aren't close enough friends where I can ask him if he is gay or not. So what should I do? Should I try to talk to him more and become closer to him first? Maybe ask him to hang out with me sometime and get to know him even more? I'm a relatively socially awkward person so it's scary enough for me just to message him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you guys have any questions, just let me know
YES YES I often wonder how many of these "I'm crushing on a friend" or "I'm in love with my best friend" situations actually end with the friend being gay and wanting a relationship with the crusher/lover. My guess is not very many. Does he know that you're gay? If not, perhaps you could start hinting at that somehow. (e.g. 'like' some gay things on FB)
He definitely does not know i'm gay. I'd rather not start liking "gay" things on FB, considering I have other friends (such as family) who I'd rather prefer not to know I'm gay at this point. So maybe once we get talking more I'll feel more comfortable to open up to him and tell him I'm gay. ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2015 at 11:19 PM ---------- Also, should I try to engage in the conversation more? Maybe have fun with it and add an emoticon or two along with being a "tad bit" flirty with him? Not enough to completely freak him out or creep him out if he is straight. But maybe enough to seem mostly friendly and give him a small hint that I could be gay.
It's up to you, but I wouldn't. Text can often be misinterpreted, especially when there is intended emotion behind it. I believe flirting should be left in the physical plane.
Ok, I understand. He doesn't always respond to my FB messages, so I just gotta wait it out till he does. He says that he sees the messages and means to respond to them later, but keeps forgetting haha. Maybe within the next few times we talk I'll ask him for his cell number so I have an easier way of contacting him.
