I posted earlier today, so I'm not sure if any of you have read it. Anyway, I realized something a little bit ago as I was replying to someone else's post. I know that I'm attracted to both men and women, but I didn't think it would be hard for me to say, or in this case write, the word bisexual. As I was writing it my hands were trembling. I know that this journey that I'm on is going to be tough. I just didn't imagine that it would be so difficult to write down one word. One word that people are going to look at me differently for. If I can't even write the word bisexual how am I going to deal with everything else that's going to come with this process?!
Why is it so hard to accept? Are you afraid of your family's rejection? Having to come out? Going against the societal roles? Why? I am having a hard time accepting that I am gay. All my life I thought I was flexible. But inside me, I know it is not wrong being gay and my family loves me and will love me. It is difficult because it goes against the picture I had in my mind for a long time. Give it time. I'd make queer friends, join meetups, socialize with fellow bi's so you create a community of support. Whatever you are feeling, others have felt it too.
Now that you mention it, my family is what freaks me out the most. There's just so much to take in. My sexuality is something that just these past couple of days I have come to accept. Like I said earlier, my family does scare me. My dad comes from a family that doesn't show emotion. So I never know what he is thinking or feeling. Same goes for my brothers. My older brother tells me all the time he's like our dad and doesn't show emotion, so him admitting it is something. My younger brother shows some emotion but not a lot. Then there's my mom. Out of everyone she's the one I'm most scared of. She's always criticized me about everything. She is emotional so I don't know how she would take it. The uncertainty of how my family will take it makes me uneasy.
You'll be all right I just came out as gay to my family who at one point taught me that being gay was a sin against God. It wasn't that bad actually, and everyone who was uncomfortable with it simply don't bring it up. It's weird the first few days, but I'm sure your family won't react too badly - especially if they aren't religious or homophobic. My recommendation: Start off small. That's what I did. Get comfortable saying the phrase, "I'm bisexual" in the mirror - of course when no one is home or asleep. Then tell a couple close friends. Work your way up Hope this helps.
To WickedConfused, Thank you so much for your words they mean a lot! Honestly starting off small would be best. Again, thanks for your kind words.
