Hi, this is my first ever thread on anything so I'm not sure how this works but I want to get this off my chest. I've been googling to try and figure out my orientation and I come up with nothing. It's very tiresome but I don't want to know that I'm the only one out there. I don't have a clue what I am. I like guys and girls (but mostly guys). Im a virgin but that's because I Don't have much desire to have sex (gay sex freaks me out & I feel inexperienced to have sex with a woman). I can't say I'm asexual because I get pretty turned on by porn or nudity in general. I know my libido is a little less then most men (I'm XXY) but I know it's healthy. I tell people I'm gay but I can't bring myself to full accept that definition. Bisexual fits but there again I can't define myself because I only sometimes like women (100% a tit man though). I find women attractive but I don't have the feelings like most men do. So what the fuck am I? I did a test and it said I'm demisexual but then I did another one that said I was pansexual. I'm 27 and I'm no further ahead with knowing what's up then when I "came out" at 20, 23, and 25.
Hello Jamboy88. I am sorry for what you are going through. I myself am not the most sorted person at the moment, I can try sharing my views on what you have written. You say that you are certain you are attracted to men and women both. That definitely lens towards bisexual. How does it feel when you hang out with guys vs girls? Try feeling to whom you are physically-emotionally drawn to. Do not rely on porn as it is an unreliable indicator of sexuality. Also, finding someone attractive is different from being attracted. I hope u feel better...
"I am queer" is the way to go. If you are certain you are not straight, then you are at least queer. If I have to I introduce myself as being "Not sure. I think I'm on the asexual and aromantic spectrums. Definitely queer, though." Of course "questioning" is just as good. But people not in the queer community generally have trouble with things outside of "gay" and "straight". So, whatever on that front. (I have to explain what asexual, aromantic, and romantic orientation is almost every time I tell people) It is okay not to know.
