Maybe it's not important what I am. I will say, at this point in my life, I have no want of men. Some want to date me and I get all anxious like I am stifled. I push them away. It's really hard to explain how men make me feel. I find them attractive, I can say one or another is handsome but I have no want to date them. Brad Pit is handsome, Kurt Busch is handsome, I can pass someone on the street and think to myself, "He's attractive." Now would I want to date them, I truly doubt it. The inability to decide whether I am a lesbian now or simply bi bothers me. I should just be myself but when I meet other women, they want to know what I am. *sad*
They do? Like, they actually ask? And they expect you to have a neat little fill-in-the-box answer all ready for them? If the answer is "no, that's just me in my head", then get yourself past it. There's no reason you have to have this all worked out...in fact the more you try to predict life, the more it will thwart you. If the answer is "yes, I swear this has happened to me on several occasions", then I have to say damn, what kind of ignorant impolite women are you talking to? First, that shit's personal. I assume you aren't on the verge of moving in with them...what right do they have to make demands to know your sexuality? Or that you know your sexuality? But also it denies the serious and complex nature of the personal journey every LGBT person should know we all go through, one way or another. You've had all kinds of societal training telling you that you should be evaluating attractiveness in men...you don't just get rid of that the instant you realize you like women! Or maybe there is lurking bisexuality, and you're just currently in a mode of wanting women-only for a while. How the hell should you be able to predict the future? But either way, I have to ask you, what's wrong with being honest? If being yourself means "hey, sure I find certain guys attractive, but I don't want to date them; whereas I am definitely interested in women"...then isn't that just being honest, both with yourself and with them? How can they object?
You don't have to choose a label. And no one has the right to demand one. If you really feel like you need a label you can also go with an umbrella term like not straight or queer. And everyone you feel like deserves to know should be up to hearing the "long version", i.e. what you told all of us. Don't feel pressured to choose a label. I understand where you're coming from, though. I was exactly the same. And I never quite told anyone that I'm a lesbian, because like you I am totally attracted to women, but even though I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction to guys right now, it could happen some day. I like the label queer, it tells the people (I might want to date) what they need to know, that being me not being straight. I actually didn't even tell anyone of my friends and family (I.e. people I don't want to date) that I'm queer, I just said I have a girlfriend... So really just go with what feels right to you, and if you feel uncomfortable choosing a label like lesbian or bi, just ditch the labels or pick a different one.
