Omg. this is kinda hard to type.. but here goes nothing. OK first of all, My name is Raven and I'm a 16 yo girl. Only a few weeks ago I was watching Glee for the second time (lol) and I noticed that I was checking out the girls instead of the guys. My first thought was " oh crap.. what am I doing? could I be gay!?" And I just pushed that thought to the side and continued watching. (I don't have anything against gays, i actually ship gay guy couples on TV harrrd XD) anyway, a day or so later I caught myself checking out the girls again.. and that's when I really started to question myself. For the record, my whole life i was 100% sure that I was straight. I didn't even know people could be gay until i was old enough to watch reality TV lol, and I always only had guy crushes until.. the end of last year. I didn't realize it, but I had a crush on one of my girl friends. I had a boyfriend once.. (long distance) and we're still friends now.. but during the relationship I never felt.. like I really liked him that way.. i always felt like we would be better as friends. I mean, i know long distance relationships never work but.. still. When we were together, I had maybe.. 2 or 3 fantasies about us kissing but.. that was it, and after that my guy fantasies pretty much faded. (we were only together for 5 months) TMI below Lately I've been having frequent sexual fantasies of girls.. and it turns me on. *blegh* XD and i was taking this sexuality quiz that was asking me about "eating out a women" and "giving head to a man" so i googled it... oh LORD. I looked up the eating thing and i didn't read all of it but i was imagining 2 girls and i was super turned on. BLEGH XD then i looked up the giving head to a man thing and i was completely turned off.. LOL. so that was the biggest sign for me. I am still attracted to guys.. well, there faces.. and their bodies are... meh but i dont have as much of a desire to kiss them as i do for girls. and i think girls are a lot sexier than guys. ONE MORE THING! I think my family might be homophobic. Examples: My parents think its sad how some gay guys have high voices, and they hate when guys wear makeup... and my sister thinks that people choose they're sexuality -_-. My grandma said that if she saw 2 guys kiss that she would puke. It's not because of religion, they just think it's gross and they don't understand it. I don't think my parents would kick me out or anything if i came out.. but idk how they would feel about it. So anyways.. that's what's going through my mind.. :eusa_clap hope it wasn't too.. scattered. Have any thoughts/advice? I would really appreciate it! - Raven :smilewave
Hey Raven! I can't tell you your orientation, but I can tell you what it sounds like to me. It's possible that you're lesbian. But since you said "I am still attracted to guys.. well, there faces" and "I had maybe.. 2 or 3 fantasies about us kissing", it could also be possible that you're biromantic homosexual. Biromantic homosexual means that you are romantically attracted to both girls and guys, but only sexually attracted to girls. But still, you could be lesbian. Sometimes lesbian women will feel romantic attraction to men (especially when they are younger) simply because of the way they are raised. A young girl may grow up to be a lesbian, but the environment they grow up in may prompt them to envision a life where they love men. This may carry on into early teenage years, which might have happened in your case. So, it's entirely possible that your few romantic attractions to boys were a product of a heteronormative society. Also, plenty of people experience "aesthetic attraction" which is when a person admires another gender's appearance, but has no romantic or sexual attraction to them (this could be why you said you like men's faces). I hope I helped! Feel free to message me with any questions. Good luck!
