Hi Everyone. So, this is my first post so I would just appreciate all of the help I can get from whoever can help. Heres my problem: I am a 15 year old female. I am 95% sure that I am gay, except I have one problem: I have never been with any male in my life and its keeping me from coming out to the people that I care about (family, friends, etc.). Sometimes when watching a cheesy romantic movie, I see a (straight) couple kissing or being intimate and I feel that I want that experience too. I want to have the experience of being with a male before I make my decision to come out to the people who I love. (Although I have come out to some of my friends and it felt right and good). Another problem with this as well is: if I do have that feeling of "i want the experience of being with a man" then does that make me bi or pan? I much prefer labeling myself as gay or lesbian than pan, bi, or straight and I much rather be intimate with women than men, but theres still that little part of me thats still completely and utterly confused about who I am and it is keeping me from expressing myself. I apologize if this was absolutely confusing, its hard to explain, but I would appreciate all of the help or advice I could get. Thank you.
First of all, don't feel too much pressure to come out! Only do so when you're ready, so if you're not ready yet, don't do it. Wanting to experience a relationship with different genders before you come out as monosexual (that means you only like one gender) is totally normal and okay! It doesn't change your identity. If you experiment with a boy and decide that you like men as well as women, you're probably bi, pan or poly, or you could just be homoflexible (meaning that you're almost completely homosexual, but can make exceptions). If you do decide that you like men, but still don't want to ID as bi, pan, poly, or homoflexible, you can still say that you're gay or queer. A lot of times, if a friend asks me, I just say I'm gay to make things more simple. It's a common thing for bi/pan/poly people to do. I hope I could help. Feel free to message me if you have a question or just need to talk!
Hello antonsenar From what you write, you do seem to be into girls. But, if you aren't completely sure, you could say that you like 'girls more', for now, so you still have the option of the 5% that you mention.So if you do come across a guy whom you get attracted to, you can decide for yourself. ( If at all it does turn out that you like guys too ) It is good that you have friends that you can speak about this to
Also, if you want to, you can ID as bicurious, meaning you think you might be monosexual, but you are curious about liking more than one gender.
