how to stop stressing?

The best thing would be to try calming exercises, like breathing exercises and training your mind to be more positive and not to focus on those things as much.

Something that helps (at least for me) is going for walks. For some people, jogging or running. Focusing on that and if your mind still wanders, then listening to music as you do it (just watch for cars).

The key would be to find something else to focus on and then figure it out when you can actually figure it out instead of despairing over it, which is just unhealthy.

 

I thought you found some clarity and direction on this thread - http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/187915-weird-3.html.

 

So, what is the problem? Did you act on the advice given on that thread?

 

Agreed - that's why you need to start dating. QED

 

You seem like a nice guy, but I'm hearing excuses for inaction. I spent a fair amount of time chatting about your issues on the previous thread. We both know that you like other guys - maybe even a little more than you like girls. I see that you've asked a lot of other people for advice over the past 1.5 months as well. If you fail to act on advice, things won't get better. You'll stay in your rut, spinning your wheels, and stressing because you're not doing anything about it.

Because you remind me of me at a younger age, I'm going to share with you an important life lesson that I needed to hear (but didn't hear until later in life). You may not like it, but it's what you need to do: In order to stop stressing, you have to take action related to what is stressing you. More specifically, in order to stop stressing about your sexuality, you have to start exploring your sexuality with real guys or gals. This means you will have to stop making excuses for why you can't, feel the fear, and do it anyway. Or perhaps you take a baby step of finding a good therapist to work through the issues that are preventing you from exploring your sexuality.

 

Great - you are taking action, which should help to reduce your stress (!)

What I'm hearing is that you need some help to figure out how to meet people. Is that correct?

To meet guys - Are there any LGBT meetups for young singles in your area? That might be your best bet. CL is an another option, but you need to be very careful and cautious. I'd suggest posting to or responding to ads in misc romance or men seeking men. Be sure to use an aliased email and try to avoid the hookup type ads. I have no experience with hookup apps, but this doesn't seem like your style.

To meet gals - Are there any young single (straight) meetups in your area? Were there any girls in your high school that you found attractive? Perhaps you can reach out to them?

Perhaps others can chime in with suggestions on how somebody who is college aged can meet people?

 

Also see if there are any meetup groups near you. If you are religious, sometimes friendly congregations have events you could attend.

 

I hope that you follow through and visit the LGBT centers and get out there. I'm glad you liked the banana (!)

I understand your reservation about CL. For the most part it's a hookup site. I have met several decent guys on CL (middle aged bi and gay guys). You can meet decent guys on CL, you just have to be strategic about it, but that's beyond the scope of a single EC post

 

What would happen if you opened the closet door enough so that you could get there?

 

Why must you tell anyone? Can't you just go there and see what happens?