To start, I'm a 19 year old female. My sexuality is so confusing. I've been trying to figure it out for months, to no avail. It's causing me distress because I have a boyfriend of over a year whom I love more than anyone else in the world and I don't want to be lesbian To keep it short: In the past, I have been sexually aroused by videos/pictures of naked women and as a child I would seek them out. However, it was really only breasts that I found arousing and not other body parts. I have also been sexually aroused by men, but not so much by their bodies. I have been sexually aroused by guys once I get to know them and develop a crush on them. The past year has been one of the most stressful years of my life and at various times throughout the year I would find myself unable to get aroused by my boyfriend, which is what made the idea pop into my mind that I might not be straight. And yet, I really have no interest in actually doing anything sexual with a woman. I don't really want to date women, and I have never had a crush on a woman in my life. So why do I still find myself aroused by women's breasts? And what the heck is up with me??? More than anything, I wish I just knew for sure that I was straight. I would even be okay with being bi/pan. Anything that would allow me to be with my boyfriend and spend the rest of my life with him. (Note: He is the first guy I've ever been with, and we have not had sex, although I want to have sex with him. What's mainly stopping me is that I grew up in a religious environment where I was taught to be ashamed of sexuality...) Help is so so appreciated!! Thank you
Hi Jayla, First of all, being aroused by pictures or videos of naked women doesn't make you a lesbian. A lot of straight women enjoy watching girl on girl porn for example. Fantasy and reality are two very different things and that does not define your sexual orientation. There are also plenty of women out there who need to feel emotionally connected to men to feel sexually attracted or aroused by them. So again, nothing abnormal in your case. The reason why you could find yourself unable to be aroused by your boyfriend is precisely because of your religious upbringing that put into your head that you shouldn't have those thoughts/desires. At 19 years old and after one year of relationship, if you both feel ready, I would highly encourage you and your boyfriend to start experimenting and discovering each other's bodies. You are not going to find definite answers to your questions if you remain in fantasyland. Sexuality between two adults who love each other is nothing to be ashamed of. Last but not least, if it can reassure you, from what you're saying, it's quite unlikely you are a lesbian. :icon_wink
If you really want to know for sure that you are straight, I'd suggest trying stuff out with your boyfriend, and think about how it makes you feel.
