1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Feelings of uncertainty about intimacy

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by XenaxGabby, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. XenaxGabby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,119
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Here and there
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Through out the years I have had many sexual fantasies, and they've all been great. But sometimes I really think about what it would be like to actually kiss or have sex with someone, and then I get a little grossed out because doing that stuff is the exchanging of bodily fluids and you have to touch another person's body.

    What if I'm kissing or having sex with someone and I don't like it, even if I'm really attracted to them? Sometimes I can't imagine being intimate with someone in real life but in my fantasies I can.
     
  2. Lin1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,336
    Likes Received:
    531
    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Unfortunately you won't know if you'll like it until you try it, but the good news is that if you don't like it you can stop right away and won't even have to do it again if you don't want to. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well. I guess I can tell you this. I have an asexual friend, who happens to be extremely intimate for the usuall asexual stereotypes. She'll cuddle, hug, hold hands... All that, just no kissing or sex or any of that. Asexuals can be intimate. Maybe you're asexual. Dunno, hope this helps.
     
  4. Phioo

    Phioo Guest

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2015
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Italy
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Ya it's kinda ewwish.
     
  5. Mischief

    Mischief Guest

    so relatable.

    You're definitely not the only one :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  6. QBear

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Western Great Lakes
    Gender:
    Male
    I agree with Linning. You won't know until you try, so you should probably go try it out.

    Just make sure that you pick a person for your first try who is caring and good about consent and willing to stop right away if you feel uncomfortable. And go slow.

    Also, its worth noting that everyone has the occasional "eww" moment while having sex. Its kinda unavoidable sooner or later. But, being momentary, it passes. The important thing is that your not totally grossed out, and that it isn't persistent. If something makes you totally grossed out and/or the feeling doesn't pass, then stop.

    On the other hand, when I'm in the right mood with the right partner, certain acts that normally gross me feel totally natural and wonderful and amazing. So much depends upon chemistry sometimes.
     
  7. XenaxGabby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2015
    Messages:
    1,119
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Here and there
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yeah. Perhaps I'm focusing too much on the thought of it. I do want to experience intimacy with someone, it's just that sometimes I have "eww moments." But you're right, obviously I won't know until I try it. I still want to so that rules out asexuality.
     
    #7 XenaxGabby, Aug 27, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2015
  8. QBear

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Western Great Lakes
    Gender:
    Male
    Also, some women report that they didn't really get into sex until their late twenties/early thirties. There is a corresponding theory that women tend to hit their sexual peak around 30. So perhaps, as you age the "eww" factor might decrease as your level of sexual desire increases. Just another thought.

    But mostly, go out and meet some people and try some things you want to try.
     
    #8 QBear, Aug 27, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2015