Hiiii! So I'm new to this forum. Just actually stumbled upon it today. I read some posts on here and felt comfortable enough to talk about what's going on with me. Hopefully I make some sort of sense as I am not too great with my words when it comes to talking about myself. So here goes... Recently I'm feeling suffocated because I'm starting to come more and more to the realization that I am really attracted to women and I've been hiding these thoughts from the people I love and care about. I've only spoken to a few people about it, my best friend who is supportive, my co worker who is a close friend also outside of work and she is also supportive, along with my two close cousins that I've recently came out to explaining that I am Bi-curious. I guess I feel suffocated because I want to explore this attraction I have towards women but it's hard go out there and meet someone. Especially when explaining to a girl that hey, I think I'm bi but I don't really know and would like To go ahead and explore with you. I'm afraid that girls will judge me and just think I'm using them To just have some fun or what not. When that's not that case at all. I've always had a physical attraction toward women, fantasies, and I sometimes have these dreams about being In a relationship with a girl. Since I've never done anything with a girl (except for kissing at stupid parties when I was younger and a truth or dare), I don't want to label myself as a bisexual until I explore that curiosity side. I once went on a date with a girl and met her at a straight bar (when I was 22 now I'm almost 30), and I felt uncomfortable with the way she was flirting with me and being touchy feely, but maybe that was because I was scared of what others thought or maybe it was also the fact that I wasn't really attracted to her. I just really would like to find someone to explore my sexuality with. I know labels shouldn't really matter, but I want to understand if I am bi-sexual or what not. I've always been sexual with men and yet never really had any sorta emotional attachment with them, it was all physical. I've had boyfriends but short term and I would always break up with them because there wasn't any real connection or that strong chemistry that everyone talks about. I feel lost and lonely because I don't really have any gay/lesbian/bisexual friends that can truthfully understand what's going on with me. The friends I have are all straight and never really had to question their sexuality. I wish I could just know what my sexuality is. It's always on my mind and I'm feel like I'm going crazy lol. I'm sorry if I wrote too much. Just never really had a place to vent about this.
Hey Libra! First, great user name. I'm a libra myself, so I already know you are chill...like me :icon_bigg Now, back to your issue. I believe you owe it to yourself to explore these feelings and figure yourself out. If you are having these thoughts and feelings about women, it is not something that will simply go away, so take the time to figure it out. Start slow. Shelve dating and simply find a lesbian friend. Once you find a lesbian friend, you can hang out at events with lesbians, and be exposed to the way we interact. Your reaction to seeing two women holding hands, kissing, acting as a loving couple can tell you things about yourself. I remember my journey to realizing I am a lesbian. I devoured lesbian content. Movies. TV shows. Lesbian romance novels. Gay events. Gay clubs. The more I was exposed to the lifestyle of being a gay woman, the more I KNEW this is what I needed to be happy. Also, while you are correct, there are some lesbians who will not date a woman who is exploring, there are many who will. Just be truthful. Make friends first and then simply allow things to progress, or not progress. Ultimately that will be your choice. ---------- Post added 27th Aug 2015 at 07:24 PM ---------- Oh and the way you described your experience with men... no emotional connection, unable to stay in a long term relationship, lackluster chemistry etc...you described my wife to a tee. She was exactly like that and then she met me. Fast forward 12 years and we are happily married. One never knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thank you for the reply i want to find lesbian friends so I can broad my horizons. It's just hard meeting new people. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm currently on a dating site to meet new people but no luck yet. I guess I have to be patient when it comes to dating sites. I really don't know where else to meet new people. I know nowadays we have social media but I wouldn't even know where to look. Thank you again for your advice!
Check out MeetUp.com and search for lesbian groups. I'm a member of one and it's all about fun things to do. Just social stuff. It's not a dating site. I've made several friends from those events and it's all very welcoming and laid back.
I'm in the same boat as you. I wouldn't know how to start a conversation with a girl about that because they might feel like I'm coming off rude. I wouldn't even know where to start to find girls to talk to! :dry:
