Hi guys. My english is not that good so please bare with me. I'm confused of my sexuality that I searched things like 'How to know your sexual orientation' 'What to do if you're confused with your sexuality' and many other things. I started being confused ever since I got really close with a transferee here in our school - she is my classmate. I'm not attracted to her the first time I saw her I just thought that she was just okay. But there was this day, when our teacher was discussing and I looked to my side (her seat was beside me) and I found her so beautiful! I can feel my heart beating so fast. I even had imagined of how it would be when she become my girl. I imagined me and the transferee walking while holding hands. Me giving my jacket to her when she feels cold. Hugging her when she needs comfort. Wiping her tears and giving her my handkerchief. I realized it just now, but I think I want to be the 'guy' on the relationship. But the thing that was making me confused is, I had a boyfriend last last year. We had an 8 months relationship and I can still remember me being head over heels for him. Whenever I remember on how we spend our time together like simply holding hands, I hated myself and thought 'Why did I even became his girlfriend?' even though I dont want to admit it, but I remember that I did had a good time when we were together but I started to hate him when we broke up. We had a communication last month again and I thought I would feel the same thing but I didnt. I had a crush on a boy last year he was on the same year with me but were not on the same class and I always look at him whenever he walks past me. I feel happy whenever he looks at me and smile. I'm shy in front of him that I didnt even talked to him even though my friends told me to do so. I didnt told him that I like him. I didnt confess at all. He became my classmate this year and He's not my crush anymore. I dont feel nervous when talking to him now. Im not shy infront of him now too. Since I'm quite focused with the transferee these past few months. Another thing, ever since last last year I shipped an OTP that includes both girls. I also like a girlgroup, and I think I'm addicted to them. I do ship the two members that I like with each other and I find it so cute whenever the two of them interacts with each other. Last year, I thought that I would never find a girl that is not a celebrity attractive. I'm a fan of a girl group, but I'm a fan of a boygroup too. But I like the girl group more. We have this thing called 'Ulitimate Bias' in our fandom which means that you like this bias of yours in all of your biases more. And my ultimate bias is a girl, and my second ultimate bias is a boy. I just dont know what I am anymore. I also dont like asking my bestfriend even though both of us treasures each other alot. I told her that there are some bisexuals here in our school and she told me that she's worried that I might be one of them in the future. That's why I dont even bother bringing this topic to her whenever we talk. Sorry for the long post! I just need help. I just want to know what I am. Please tell me what you think I am. :eusa_doh:
Your English was just fine! It's better than most native English-speakers I can't really tell you your sexuality, but I can tell you what it sounds like to me. It seems like you could be bisexual and/or biromantic. Bisexual means that you are sexually attracted to two genders, and biromantic means you are romantically attracted to two genders. Bisexual/biromantic people can still have preferences, so you might like girls better, and that's totally okay! I hope I could help! Feel free to message me if you have any questions!
really? thanks for saying what you think. it helps me alot! i actually think im one of the things you mentioned . anyways i need a friend! would you mind being friends with me? i need someone to talk to.
Sounds to me like you're bisexual. In any case take some time to figure this out - cause you do have time, I'm guessing you're in high school?? Maybe gently probe this girl about her thoughts on non-heterosexuality and see how she does - if she's interested in you, maybe you could try it out with her! From the way you speak about your fandom, I'm guessing you're talking KPOP? If so, nice to meet a fellow fan here! /waves I do know what you mean about being addicted to girl groups. Basically all the music I have is by female singers, heavily biased towards my favorite girl groups, and I do think it's because of all the celebrity crushes I have among said girl groups. It's possible that you just like girl groups better, but depending on exactly how they appeal to you (do you want to BE your bias, or do you want to be WITH her? Do you dream of being her bestie, or something more?) that could definitely be an indicator of your sexuality - especially depending on how you react to boy bands as well. Personally, it sounds like you're going through some of the feelings I went through (though I've never had a boyfriend, nor have I been in love with a boy quite as I have with a girl). Based on what you say it sounds to me like you do have an ability to feel an intense attraction to girls, but also to be intensely attracted to boys: hence, bisexual. For me, I tend only to feel strong attraction to girls, so I identify more as homoflexible - mostly gay, but up for a fling with a guy if he's amazing, or to better understand my own sexuality. Ultimately, of course, it's up to you how you identify! And your English is lovely, dear. Where are you from?
