Hello all! So. I've only ever been in one relationship, and that was with a man. We were together for about four years, and we were intimate. I never felt connected to him when we were intimate. It always felt "off" and like something wasn't right. I knew that I was attracted to women, but I wasn't really sure if I was truly attracted to men, even when I was with my boyfriend at the time. Looking back I realize that there was no physical attraction, and that the only reason I clung to him so much was because I didn't have very many friends. I guess I just wanted a friendship from him, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Anyway, that relationship has been over for a long time, so it doesn't really matter too much anymore. I have been confused about my sexuality for quite a while. For the longest time I was convinced that I was bisexual, because even though I wasn't really attracted to men, there was still a very slight possibility that one day I might find a man attractive. In the past couple of years I have been on a few dates with men and they have been unsuccessful. I don't feel any connection to them, I don't have a good time, and I want the date to be over before it has even started. I don't enjoy the "coupley" aspects of a male/female relationship. I find myself wishing that I was holding hands with a woman instead of a man, going on dates with a woman, etc. I've begun to tell myself that I am a lesbian. I have never been with a woman but I have talked to a few online, and I could definitely see myself being in a relationship with a woman and being intimate with a woman. I am not out to my family, only to a few friends. My family is not very understanding of LGBT issues. I have taken the Kinsey test a few times and I usually rank as a 5 or 6. I guess I just want a second opinion? Haha. Please pardon my rambling. I tend to do that when I'm nervous.
I would say if you don't find or have yet to find men sexually attractive, you're probably a lesbian. :} But you have the ability to change your mind later if you find that you are attracted to a man sexually. You might just not have found one you think is attractive yet, or you may never. ^- ^ Good luck!
I really do not find men sexually attractive. I can recognize that a guy is cute or handsome, but that's it. That's where my "interest" ends. It irritates me when guys text me a lot and indicate that they are interested in me. I do feel kind of bad when I tell them that I'm not interested but at the same time I would rather not lead them on, you know? I've had girls text me before and it did not irritate me at all because we were both interested in each other. I enjoy having guy friends, but not boyfriends. I enjoy having girls as friends but I would definitely be interested in having a relationship with a girl. I just haven't gotten that far yet.
I agree that it sounds like you might be a lesbian since you do not seem to be attracted to men at all. However, only you can decide what label you want to use for yourself
I can't say "this is your sexual orientation and that's it", but it sounds like you are a lesbian still dealing with compulsory heterosexuality. (And don't worry about Kinsey test. To be honest, I think it is bs)
In this case, the Kinsey test is telling her the same thing her own intuition and the rest of us think: She's a lesbian. (5 on Kinsey is mostly lesbian, and 6 on Kinsey is 100% lesbian) So there is no problem with the test here. For me personally, the Kinsey test has been a very helpful tool to help me come to terms with my bisexuality, and I've seen it help many gay and lesbian people come to terms with being gay or lesbian. (e.g., realizing that having some marginal attraction to the opposite sex a la a Kinsey 5 rating still makes you a lesbian for all practical purposes). So I want to stand up for it as a useful, but albeit imperfect, tool. You do raise a very good point about compulsory heterosexuality, though. Its pervasive and quite damaging.
