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Confused and Questioning my life

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by QuestionMan, Aug 31, 2015.

  1. QuestionMan

    QuestionMan Guest

    So hi everyone. Ive been apart of this site before but never posted. I am posting today because as the title says I am really confused and im questioning everything.

    I am a 23 yr old male from los angeles. For the longest time I told myself I was straight. I knew it wasnt true but I couldnt handle the truth. I guess to truly understand my dilema, i should start at the beginning.

    When I was in the 5th grade, I watched porn for the first time. It was also the first time I masturbated. For some reason the first video I watched was of two guys having sex. After that video, I was only watching gay porn. I probably did that all through middle school as well. Was about 4 years. Within those 4 years, I also saw my friends penises for the first time. I remember that after I saw them, I went home and masturbated to them while fingering myself. When I got into high school, all of this changed. I stopped watching gay porn and stopped masturbating to women. I started finding women attractive which led to me watching straight porn and masturbating to and dating girls. In college I watched a mixture of gay and straight porn but still dated girls. When I graduated, I began to change. I started watching more gay porn and started checking out guys. I joined another gay forum and I find myself fantasizing about having sex with all the guys i meet. I have been thinking about men and being with them. It has just really confused me and made me question what is going on.

    A part of me feels like I have just been compressing my true feelings and now they are coming out. But another part of me feels like it is just a phase and it will pass. I could really use ur help with trying to work through this and understand it. Thnx.:smilewave