So around 3 weeks ago, I got my first boyfriend, I've liked him for ages and was always wishing he'd ask me out, this was mostly before I started properly questioning my sexuality. Miraculously, he liked me too and we started going out during summer camp. I was always very uncomfortable with him and calling him my 'boyfriend', it just didn't feel right. I did although enjoy spending time with him (talking) because he really listens to me and doesn't judge me but I still couldn't stop that feeling of just wrongness and it really made me question myself. I've been on holiday for 2 weeks and haven't seen or spoken to him since camp but we are going back to school soon in less that a week so I'll have to face him then. During my vacation, at first I accepted that we were going out and I really liked that idea but over time, I started to really think and it's just gotten very confusing. Every since I've accepted my bisexuality, my interest in girls has grown a lot while boys have sunk, this was to the point where I actually thought that maybe I was lesbian. I feel like my real desire is to be with a girl and have a girlfriend but to do that I'd have to break up with my boyfriend and I don't know if I can but I don't know if I like him enough to stay in a relationship with him especially with how I feel around him. I at the same time really want a girlfriend but there is only like a 5 percent chance that I'm going to actually find aother bi or lesbian girl AND be attracted to her AND she be to me. There are only 4 other openly bi or gay girls at my school and two are dating each other! I feel really messed up and I don't know if I want to break up with him. He's so cute and stuff but I want a girl but I probably won't get one but then atleast I'll be free. I feel so uncomfortable and wrong when I say "oh he's my boyfriend" but I feel much more at home with saying I have a girlfriend which makes me think maybe im a homoromantic bisexual? But i don't know. It is all so confusing.
Feeling weird about calling someone your boyfriend was one of the big signs for me. Not that I've really had a boyfriend, but even in the abstract it feels wrong, and I feel like a fraud whenever anyone asked/asks me about male crushes. My advice would be to call it quits, and enter into the mindset of being gay. You're still young, so you could still meet a guy you like, but don't hang your hopes up on it. From personal experience, it's better to work these things out sooner, rather than later. After all, if you do meet a guy you're truly attracted to in the future, there's no reason why you can't adjust your label accordingly.