Good question.... I've wondered that myself when I've been with guys. I'm bisexual, and have had more consistent erections with women, even when sometimes the emotional satisfaction of being with a man was higher. I've concluded that perhaps my body is more broadly receptive to female pheromones, and more selectively receptive to male pheromones. But it could be internalized homophobia. I'd be interested to hear what other gay men have to say.
I usually seem more sexually attracted to men. However, I tend to have just as big as an orgasm when I fantasize about women even more so than men.
Cubster1980: When you were first coming out, were you able to get consistent erections with men, or did it take some time to get comfortable with guys before your erections were reliable?
Been thinking about this for a bit before responding. And in my own experience, there previously were certain activities where I had no issues maintaining an erection (oral, bottoming), and some activities where I was not performing consistently (topping). For a while I just assumed I like certain activities over others. But that never really seemed the settle with me given I never had such preferences when I was living as a straight man. Unexpectedly, I recently realised I had some lingering internalised homophobia. Having recognised it, and worked through it, and now am comfortable with such remaining issues, my consistency has since improved dramatically such that I no longer have any performance issues - regardless of the activity.
Good information to know! Thanks for responding. Maybe there's hope for my sexual performance with guys, after all. I know the romantic feelings are there. Just out of curiosity, OntheRoad, if you were able to sexually perform well with women when living as a straight man, what caused you to realize you were gay and not bisexual when you came out? Was it the quality of the emotional connection, or something else?
That's a long story! In short, I had thought of myself as bisexual for a long time. I had repressed my homosexual tendencies, and thought I could consciously do so. After years of repressing them (early in my life before marriage I did act on them), I realised I was not happy and could not contain them. That's when I finally came out to myself and accepted myself not as bisexual but as gay. The last three years I have been on a journey to recognise and learn my true self. I have written about it quite extensively, feel free to search my threads.
