Hi there! So for as long as I can remember, I've been sexually attracted to girls. The thought of sex with men is kind of a turn off for me, so for a while I thought I was a lesbian. But after a while I realized I don't really get crushes on girls. I get lots of crushes on guys, but I wouldn't want to have sex at all(but kissing and cuddling is fine). So now I'm just sort of confused. I romantically like guys but wouldn't want sex, and I want to have sex with girls but I really don't get crushes on them. I usually just say I'm bisexual, but is there another label for this? And is anyone else the same way?
What you're describing seems like it would fit the "Heteroromantic homosexual" label, meaning that you're sexually attracted to women, but emotionally attracted to men. I can't tell you what you are for sure, but that's the impression I got from your post. I used to think I was a homoromantic heterosexual (the opposite of you), but I realized that I could be attracted in any way to a girl if that emotional connection/longing was there first. I'm now also questioning if I'm even attracted to guys, or if it's just compulsory heterosexuality, or just me trying to be an open-minded gay. Anyhow, who do you see in your future? Who do you see yourself possibly marrying? I asked myself these things and realized I'd rather spend my life with a woman than a man. Your idea of who you'd be happy in an LTR with will probably help you figure things out. But it's different for everyone.
Yeah, I get exactly what you mean. I like girls romantically and guys sexually. I feel more kissing and cuddling towards girls and more like sexually attracted to guys. So, i identify as "Homoromantic Heterosexual". But if I ever got really involved with a girl, I might re-think the intercourse question. Anyway, I agree with the above user. You sound a lot like you are "Heteroromantic Homosexual". You like guys romantically, but girls sexually. It's normal, I promise. That's the one thing I love about romanticism and sexuality, you can combine them.
I agree with the other posters that you sound like you fit the label of a heteroromantic homosexual. I realize this may seem like a difficult combination, and that may be frustrating. HOWEVER, at 14, I wouldn't get too attached to a label or foreclose on the possibility of romantic relationships with girls, just yet. On the one hand, as you continue going through puberty, you may find that who and how you crush on people may evolve over time. And on the other, you still haven't had a lot of experience yet, and you have the whole rest of your teens and twenties to explore your sexual and relationship possibilities. So don't worry. You have time to figure things out. Try not to worry about it too much right now. ---------- Post added 6th Sep 2015 at 10:40 PM ---------- One other thing to consider is that there is a lot of social pressure - particularly in adolescence - to be in straight relationships. So it may be that you are experiencing crushes on boys due to a subconscious sense of social obligation. Similarly, it might be that you aren't experiencing romantic attraction to girls because you just haven't met the right girl yet. Just some other things to consider. I hope this helps.
