I've never really questioned my sexuality; I've always been sure I was straight. I still do think I'm straight, mostly - if anyone asks, that's what I'd say. I've always liked guys. I've thought plenty of girls were pretty (who doesn't) but I've never been attracted to one, I've never had any feelings for one that were more than platonic. Except... fast-forward to 3 weeks ago, when I moved to college. On day one, I met a girl (current sophomore, not that it matters) and oh my god. From the minute I met her, I was gone :love: I don't mean this rudely - clearly, I'm very attracted to her - but she doesn't look like the girls I would usually call pretty, either. She has a teddy-boy haircut, never wears makeup, wears typically "masculine" clothes and, while I think she's incredibly hot, is objectively "average," I guess. She describes herself as butch, if that helps? It's not a "girl crush" or whatever people use for casual admiration - I feel exactly the same about her as I would any guy I've ever had a huge crush on, which is to say that I catch myself staring at her all the time, thinking about her, and I'm INSANELY nervous and flustered whenever she talks to me or touches me. I've had some distinctly-not-PG thoughts about her, too :icon_redf (which I rarely even have about most guys, if I'm being honest!). I don't really know where I'm going with this, but my point is, I'm really into her. REALLY, REALLY into her. The thing is... I still think I'm straight? I wouldn't call myself bisexual or even "bi-curious" - it's not that I'm noticing girls, I notice her. I've had crushes on / been attracted to many guys in my life - too many to count - but I've never even had a TINY crush on any girls, not even celebrities, just her. Is it just because she presents as more traditionally "masculine," and my brain doesn't know how to process that? I don't know. She has a girlfriend anyway, so I'm not going to pursue anything with her, so I guess it's a moot point - but I'm so confused. Can I be straight with only one exception? Is it still called curious when I only have feelings for one person? I know the Kinsey scale is a thing, but does it count as a point on the scale if it's literally only one girl? :eusa_doh: I'm rambling, so I'm gonna stop now. If anyone has any thoughts on this, please help me out!
Hi tcolac, From what you write, I think it could go either way. You may be straight with one exception (anything's possible when it comes to love) or you may be bi and you've just noticed now. I wouldn't worry so much about your label. Things like this are stressed upon too much. You shouldn't have to worry about what you call yourself or what other people call you, as long as you're comfortable. In this situation, I'd just see how things work out. Maybe if you keep tabs on your crushes throughout the year and see if any of them besides this one are on females. And remember, sexual orientation isn't something that MUST be classified, and it definitely isn't confirmed at birth. You could be completely gay one day and completely straight the next. Like I said, anything's possible. Hope I helped a bit xx
Don't worry about it too much, lots of people go through this. I've been through this before and I still label myself as a lesbian. The way I see it is that orientation is just your usual preference and there's gonna be them few exceptions (a lot of people would probably disagree with me on this so if your one of them I meant no offense). Sexuality is a very fluid thing though so if you find yourself attracted to genders your not usually attracted to don't stress over it, just roll with it (you can't roll too far with this one though since she's got a girlfriend). So just don't restrict yourself and ignore what your feelings because feeling is good (not meant in a dirty way). I hope I helped at least a little ❤
It can be confusing crushing on a girl for the first time. As far as I'm concerned, I hope she breaks up with her gf so that you can have a chance to explore your feelings with her!!! I hope that's not too evil... Anyway, You can define yourself any way you want. There are the labels society puts on us, and there also the labels we put on ourselves. There are some married women who call themselves lesbians, even though society would not agree. There is so much room on the scale of 100% gay to 100% straight, and you can label yourself if you want, only to find that label change later on. I would encourage you to follow your heart/head/loins while in college, to be free and explore who you are. Be safe about it, and pay attention to your feelings. With time you may find it was a one-time thing, or it may open lots of new experiences. Generally being bi or a lesbian means you can develop romantic and sexual feelings for people who happen to be women. So maybe that is a possibility for you. Welcome to EC!!
