I just read somewhere in another thread in this forum about this idea that sexual orientation is more based on the initial emotional attraction and not the sexual one. Personally I don't agree with this. Based on my experience, I've never had sex with women before, only with men but there was always the feeling that something is missing, there was no connection. I think that, at least for me, sexual orientation is more about the connection which you can or cannot establish during the most intimate moments. I think that initial emotional attraction can also be a result of socialisation, meaning that if you are brought up in an environment without any LGBT models or a very homophobic one, you "learn" that love is straight love, and you will get into a relationship thinking this is love what you feel. And it might be something similar, until the point where you realize the deeper connection is missing. Which is usually the romantic and sexual connection. But I think that, as opposed to feeling an emotional attraction towards a person which can be seen as love even if it's not, feeling a sexual attraction is more deeply ingrained and it tells you more about your sexuality. For example right now I can feel emotional attraction towards men but I'm more than sure that I won't enjoy having sex with them and could never feel a deeper connection with them. What do you guys think about this?
This has kind of explained how I feel... I have only ever had sex with men. I enjoyed it, and have orgasmed with my sexual partners, but something has felt missing - the connection. Is that just because i havent found the right male partner or because I want to be with a woman? I wonder if I tried to have a sexual experience with a woman if I would find this 'connection'? I don't know. I don't know if I could even go through with actually touching and being with another woman, that would be scary. I don't ever feel physically like I want to rip a man's clothes off, but I do mentally? And I know I will enjoy it once he starts kissing me and turning me on. Maybe i've never allowed myself to explore my preferences for women enough because i've blocked it out?
This is totally normal and standard for female sexuality. I think you may enjoy reading up on the differences between how male sexuality manifests and female sexuality manifests. Male sexuality is more prominent and assertive. Males think about sex more and actively seek out sex. Female sexuality is more reactive, rather than proactive. Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare? How Men Fantasize About Sex vs. Women, According to a New Study - Mic
Hey blablahb (interesting user name btw ), I have a question. Have you ever felt/do you feel physical/sexual attraction towards women?
I haven't had sex (well, I am fourteen) I agree with some of the points you made. Here are my thoughts I think I intimacy isn't necessarily always stripping down and doing the dirty. I think it's about that connection, the chemistry, which is a mix of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction. It's about that closeness and that feeling, which I've ever only had with girls. I am probably gay. Maybe able to fall in love with men but no sexual attraction whatsoever..
That sounds like what ive been trying to determine, myself. I worry that the way I fee for my husband is something "learned" and not necessarily genuine. We've also alqays said that we "Fuck" we dont "make love" like we have never felt strong closeness during/after sex before.
